


Fancy a Roll in the Hay?

by abitofarockyroad



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 23:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4324263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abitofarockyroad/pseuds/abitofarockyroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You glance around, trying to locate the person talking. When you find them your mouth falls open. He was leaning casually against the barn, arms crossed, shirt off. His jeans were riding deliciously low on his hips, his body tanned and sweaty from the heat. His hair looked damp and hung loosely on his head, a small smirk playing across his pink lips. What was most…intriguing about his appearance was his arm. It glinted in the sunlight, catching you in the eye as he pushed himself off the wall of the barn. It was made entirely of metal, moving fluidly as if it was a regular arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is part 1 of 2 (I think) of a farmer Bucky AU I've been working on. I hope you like it :) xox

“Mother FUCKER!” You shout, slamming your fists onto the slightly shuddering steering wheel of your car. It had been protesting for the last half an hour about the exceptionally long drive through the country, and it had decided to just give up in the middle of nowhere. You juddered to a halt and watched with a sigh as steam started to curl its way out of the bonnet.

“Why. Why me?” You mutter to yourself, popping the hood, getting out of the car and stomping to the front of the car. You reach your hands out to lift the metal and find it scorching hot, pulling your hands away quickly. You try again, placing your hands carefully on the metal, lifting the hood and stepping back as steam pours out. When it has cleared you step closer, inspecting the inner workings of your car, determining after a good few minutes that you did indeed know fuck all about cars and had no idea how to fix it.

Pulling out your phone to call a pick-up, you see that you have been blessed with no service. What a surprise. Stuck, with no service, in the middle of nowhere. Perfect. As you glance around, you notice what looks like a farm in the distance. You squint through the sunlight and spot movement, your heart leaping at the sign of civilisation. With a sigh you grab your keys and lock the car, slamming the hood shut and beginning the walk across the fields towards the farm.

As you get closer, the farm looks pretty empty. Only a few cows dotted around, some chickens and a small vegetable patch. You traipse through the fields, struggling with the resistance of the long grass against your leg, the sun burning the back of your neck. You’re almost at the farm when you hear a voice shout.

“Watch out for the snakes!”

“SNAKES.” You shout, not even registering where the shout was from, focusing instead on getting out of the grass as quickly as possible. Your knees high you sprint out of the field, getting to regular dirt and stamping your feet a few times to rid your legs of the imaginary snakes you could have sworn you felt on you.

“Boy I expected a reaction but that was quite something.” The same voice calls. You glance around, trying to locate the person talking. When you find them your mouth falls open. He was leaning casually against the barn, arms crossed, shirt off. His jeans were riding deliciously low on his hips, his body tanned and sweaty from the heat. His hair looked damp and hung loosely on his head, a small smirk playing across his pink lips. What was most…intriguing about his appearance was his arm. It glinted in the sunlight, catching you in the eye as he pushed himself off the wall of the barn. It was made entirely of metal, moving fluidly as if it was a regular arm.

“You…I…car…snakes?” You blabber, trying to form a sentence as he begins walking towards you.

“You know I almost shot you for trespassing on my land.” He says in a gorgeously deep husky voice, stopping directly in front of you. Your eyes dart over his exposed torso, taking in every detail, every mark, and every muscle.

“I…urmm…”

“I’m not one for shooting beautiful people though so I figured I’d wait to see what you wanted. So, what do you want?”

“You…beaut…I…” He called you beautiful. You felt your cheeks heat and you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, feeling incredibly flustered.

“Come on, spit it out.” He prompts, sounding amused.

“My urmm…my car has broken down. I wondered if I could use your phone?”

“Don’t you city folk all have shiny new mobile devices?” He asks, putting an emphasis on a very stereotypical southern accent. You giggle slightly and he smiles, looking proud of his joke.

“No service.” You explain, taking the phone out of your back pocket and brandishing it.

“What else ya got back there?” He asks, winking at you, making you stutter nervously again. “I’m just playin. I’m pretty good with engines, mind if I take a look?”

“Be my guest.” You manage to say as he clips a tool belt around his hips, the weight of it threatening to pull his already very low jeans down even lower.

“So what happened to the car?” He calls as he steps into the grassy field. When you don’t answer he turns and sees you standing on the edge of the field, staring at the grass warily. He sighs and trudges back towards you. He turns so his back is to you and squats slightly.

“What?” You question, confused at what was happening.

“Hop on. Don’t want no nasty snakes biting those pretty ankles do we.” He says, looking over his shoulder and winking at you. You take a deep breath and tentatively place your arms round his muscular shoulders, your breathing faltering when he picks up your legs behind your knees. You wrap your legs around his waist and he supports you as he walks you through the field towards your car.

“Thanks.” You mutter into his ear, resting your chin on his shoulder so you feel his shoulders shake when he chuckles to himself. When you are safely out of the long grass he places you gently on the floor again and you instantly miss the feeling of his skin against yours, the feel of his muscles moving under your fingertips.

“Alright snakes…what do we have here then…what did you say happened?” He asks, walking up to your car. You unlock it and pop the hood for him, walking back round to the front of the car where he is already examining the inside.

“What did you call me?” You ask, slightly miffed.

“What happened to the car?” He repeats, winking at you.

“It’s been a bit shaky for a while, but it started to shudder and then it just made an extremely unimpressed noise, stopped completely and started steaming.” You explain as best you could, realising when it comes to this you won’t be the most helpful.

“Looks like you’re gunna need a few replacement parts…” The guy mutters, leaning in close to the car, his hands fiddling with various things you didn’t recognise. “If you see here…”

“I trust you mate. Whatever you say to me will do in one ear out the other. I don’t do cars.” You say and he laughs, leaning back. Along with the sweat and mud from the farming he’d been doing, there was now car grease dirtying his skin. As your eyes grazed his body again you bit your lip, sighing slightly.

“You alright there?” He asks, turning and seeing your eyes fixed on his abs.

“Yup. Yuhuh. All good. How’s my car?” You say quickly, trying to change the subject.

“Well no pick-up will come this far and it’s too late now to go anywhere. I can take you into town tomorrow and we can pick up the spare parts.” He says, slamming down your hood and brushing his hands against his jeans.

“Ok…sure. Thanks.” You say with a smile, noticing how dark it was getting. The air was cooling and you could hear the sound of hundreds of crickets singing from the fields surrounding you.

“Oh, I’m Bucky by the way.”

“(y/n)”

“Pleasure.” Bucky says, mock saluting you. He turns and strides back into the grass and you sigh, walking back to your car and climbing in the back seat.

“What the hell are you doing snakes?” He calls from the middle of the field.

“Sleeping?” You call back, confused when he starts walking back.

“Oh no. No lady is sleeping in a car on her own out here. You can crash at mine.” He says firmly, gesturing for you to follow him.

“I wouldn’t want to cause any…”

“It’s no trouble.” He says, cutting you off. “Hurry though, the snakes get frisky at night.”

“Alright I’m comin.” You call, slamming your door shut and taking a run at Bucky. You launch yourself onto his back and he staggers slightly under your sudden weight, almost toppling over.

“Oh is this how it is now?” He asks over his shoulder, winding his arms around your legs again.

“I don’t like snakes.” You say, resting your head on his shoulder again.

When you make it back to the farm he gently deposits you on the floor again, leading you into his cute little house. The fire was flickering gently in the kitchen, t-shirts hung on the grate in front of it. It was surprisingly tidy, everything seeming to have its place.

“You hungry?” He asks, and if on cue your stomach gives an almighty rumble. “Alright let’s feed you then.”

“I don’t suppose you…have any spare clothes?” You ask shyly. “It’s just I’ve been in these all day and they’re kinda gross.”

“Sure thing. My room’s at the top of the stairs directly in front of you. You go help yourself and I’ll make dinner.” You nod and smile, heading towards the stairs, glancing at Bucky’s toned and muscular back before you make your way upstairs. You hear pots clanging when you push the door open, stepping into Bucky’s room. It’s spacious and pretty empty, only a single photo hanging on the wall of him with a slightly weedy blonde guy, both in army uniform.

“Hmm. Military man.” You murmur to yourself, shamelessly investigating the rest of his room. There’s nothing much to see, a few CDs, many books and random toiletries strewn across a desk. Looking closer at the desk you notice a bundle of letters tied up with string, partially hidden under a book. The scrawl was messy and you can just about read the writing on the top letter.

Buck, I hope things are going well. It seems like forever…

You stop reading, controlling your curiosity. This guy had let you into his home, you didn’t need to invade his privacy by reading his letters. You instead direct your attention to the wardrobe, striding over and pulling it open surveying the inside. You grab a pair of sweatpants and the smallest t-shirt you can see, shutting the wardrobe and walking over to put the clothes on the bed. You strain your ears, hearing the noises of cooking in the kitchen and happily removing your clothes.

You pull on the sweatpants, roll up the legs and roll the waistband over repeatedly so they don’t drag on the floor as you walk or fall down. The t-shirt is pulled over your head and you can’t help but smell it quickly, noting the familiar scent of Bucky you’d grown accustomed to from being carried by him earlier. You bundle up your clothes and pad back out of the room and down the stairs in your oversized but incredible soft and comfortable clothes.

“You’re not a murdering psychopath are you?” You ask as you walk into the kitchen, the thought suddenly hitting you.

“Well…technically no.” He replies, not turning from the stove

“Ok go…what do you mean technically no?!” You ask incredulously, stepping backwards from him slightly.

“Nothing, nothing. It was a joke. I won’t kill you in your sleep I promise.” He says with a laugh. “You hungry?” He turns to look at you, freezing when his eyes hit you.

“What?” You ask nervously, fiddling with a strand of your hair.

“You…” He says, visibly gulping. “Hungry?”

“Yeah sure.” You reply, taking a seat at the table and smiling when Bucky places a plate of food in front of you.

“So.” Bucky says, sitting opposite you. “What’s your story?”

“There’s not much to tell really.” You say with a shrug. “My life is incredibly dull.”

“I live on a farm. I am the definition of dull.” Bucky replies with a laugh.

“But you were in the army right?” You question, watching as Bucky looks at you in shock. “I…there was a photo in your room of you and a guy in army uniform?” You stammer, trying to explain yourself. Bucky deflates and a sad look flickers across his face.

“Yeah, that was a long time ago though.” He mutters, playing with his food absentmindedly.

“What happened to your arm?” You blurt out, instantly regretting it. You flush red and are quick to apologise. “I’m sorry…I just…it’s only that…”

“It’s fine.” He says, a small smile on his face. “I…fell off a moving train.”

“Oh shit…that can’t have been fun.” You mutter through a mouthful of food. Nice and tactless. Well done. You are such an idiot sometimes.

“Not really no.” Bucky agrees, thankfully he was laughing.

You sit in a comfortable silence for a while, finishing off your food. You keep sending furtive glances in Bucky’s direction, pleased his shirt had remained off throughout the time you had spent with him. You couldn’t help but admire the way his hair fell across his eyes when he leant forward, his metal fingers brushing it away automatically.

“So.” He says suddenly, making you start and break out of your trance. He stands and takes your now empty plate, placing everything in the sink and turning back to you. “Want a tour of my farm?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is part 2 already! I am on a roll! Also it’s gunna be 3 parts now. I thought of more I wanted to add! Enjoy! xox

“Sure?” You say, slightly wary. Was this the part that he took you into a shed somewhere and killed you then fed you to pigs…? You stood and followed Bucky out of his house into the evening light. It was cooler now than earlier, and Bucky grabbed a tshirt that had been hanging just inside his door and pulled it on before continuing.

“So this land I haven’t started working on yet.” He explains, gesturing towards the long grass you’d walked through to get here. “Most of my stuff is round the back.”

“So what kind of farming do you do?” You ask as Bucky leads you round the side of his house.

“Well I have some animals. A few cows and pigs, some chickens. That’s mainly for food though. I have two main exports coming out of this farm.”

“Sunflowers…” You mutter when you get to the back of the house, your eyes hitting the many fields of yellow.

“Yeah. There was already one field growing here when I moved in so I expanded.” He explains, continuing walking.

“So what’s the other export?” You ask, jogging to catch up with him,

“Horses.” He says, gesturing at a huge row of stables that had been hidden behind his house and the barn.

“Wow…” you mutter, counting at least 20 stables of the most beautiful horses you’d ever seen.

“They’re racehorses. I breed them, then train them in that field over there. They seem to trust me, I dunno why.”

“That’s awesome.” You reply with a grin, continuing your stroll. You’ve done a loop now and are in front of the barn. “What’s in here?” You ask, wandering inside.

“Just feed for the animals mainly.” Bucky replies and you turn, finding him incredibly close to you. He is looking down at you, his face serious, his lips parted slightly. You take a breath and step closer, licking your lips suggestively as you meet his gaze. He lurches forward suddenly, pressing his lips against yours, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. After a few seconds he pulls away and his eyes glance across your face, waiting for a reaction.

“Fancy a roll in the hay?” You ask, winking at him and grinning. He laughs, sounding relieved and presses his lips against yours again, one of his hands moving up to wind into your hair. You step backwards, pulling him with you and let yourself fall onto the low bale of hay behind you, Bucky falling on top of you.

“So this is ur…”

“Weird?” You offer, squirming under his weight.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, if two strangers can’t have sex in a barn anymore then what’s the point?” You say, grinning.

“I’m happy with that.” Bucky replies. You grab his head in your hands and pull his lips against yours again. He responds with enthusiasm, tangling his fingers into your hair and deepening the kiss. His tongue runs along your bottom lip and you open your mouth, his tongue clashing with yours. You can feel his hot breath and hear his gentle moans when your hands move from his head and run down his back. You stop and grab his ass, using the grip to pull his crotch against you, bucking your hips into his. You feel him mutter something into your mouth and you pull back.

“YA sobirayus’ delat’ plokhiye veshchi k vam”

“You speak Russian?”

“Yeah.”

“Do it again.”

“YA sobirayus’ rvat’ svoyu odezhdu svoimi rukami”

“God that’s hot.” You mutter, rolling him over in the hay and straddling him. You roll your hips so the friction between you increases. Your hands scramble at his tshirt and he helps you pull it off, revealing the mesmerising muscles you hadn’t been able to stop staring at earlier. You stop and run your fingers down his chest, admiring his abs and how low his jeans were riding on his hips. You jolt when his fingers run up your thighs, gripping tightly. He uses his grip to roll you over again, practically throwing you down next to him. A throaty, guttural noise rises from his throat as he looms over you. His fingers move to your shirt and he pulls sharply, the buttons popping off in all directions. He practically rips the material away from you, flinging it across the floor and turning his attention back to you. Your chest is rising and falling rapidly, incredibly turned on by the sweaty, Russian talking, clothe ripping, muscular guy who was currently on top of you.

He makes quick work of your trousers, pulling them off and flinging them across the barn in the same direction as your shirt. He shuffles down so his head is between your legs and you wrap your fingers in his hair automatically. He uses his teeth to ping at the waistband of your panties, teasing them for a bit before gently pulling them down your legs. As soon as they are removed his hands take hold of your thighs and push them apart, holding them firmly as his tongue presses against your clit. You squirm and pant while he sucks, licks and nibbles at you in just the right way, his firm grip stopping you from moving away only increasing the pleasure.

“B…b…bu…” You struggle to form your words as Bucky almost pushes you over the edge. He moves back just before and smirks at you.

“Bucky?” He suggests grinning. You tug gently on his hair and he understands, moving up your body, peppering kisses on his way. You press your lips against his urgently, want pulsing through you. He moves away and a whine escapes you throat, missing the feel of his skin against yours. He only chuckles, unbuttoning his jeans and quickly pulling them off. You look down and see him already hard, straining to escape his tight boxers. So you reach and tug them down, his erection springing free. You instantly close your first around him and start pumping, Bucky’s lips going slack and his eyes shutting. Pre-cum drips onto your hand as you move your hand faster, paying close attention to the head. When you reach your other hand and take hold of his balls however he gasps and his eyes snap open.

“What?” You ask cheekily, leaning back into the hay.

“Keep going like that and I won’t be lasting very long at all.” Bucky mutters, moving himself down to bite gently on one of your nipples, sucking it after. He uses his hand to massage your clit while still keeping his mouth on your breast.

“Bucky.” You moan, his fingers speeding up. “I need you. Now.”

At this, he obliges. Repositioning himself slightly he pushes into you with such force you cry out, a mixture of pain and pleasure coursing through you. He continues thrusting fast and hard, the noise of your bodies clashing echoing through the barn. You hear him muttering, too quietly to make out the words but all you know is that it’s in Russian and it’s hot.

It’s when Bucky leans down to gently bite your neck that you are pushed over the edge. You feel yourself closing around Bucky and he gasps against your skin, his thrusts speeding up. He continues pressing rough kisses and gently bites down your neck and across your collarbone and chest, pushing you through your orgasm. After a few more thrusts you feel his muscles tense and his thrusts becoming sloppier. He presses his head into the crook of your neck as he comes down from his high, his breathing heavy.

He rolls off of you and lies beside you on the hay panting, both of you sweaty and breathless.

“Well that was fun.” You mutter, rolling onto your side to wrap yourself around Bucky. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close, the contact and feel of his warm skin against you comforting.

“That sure was something snakes.” He sighs happily, pressing a kiss against your forehead. You both lay like that, in an ignorant bliss, not noticing the scratch of the hay on your naked skin. In such a happy doze, not even noticing the sound of a motorcycle pulling up outside the barn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> YA sobirayus’ delat’ plokhiye veshchi k vam - I am going to do bad things to you  
> YA sobirayus’ rvat’ svoyu odezhdu svoimi rukami - I am going to tear your clothes off with my hands


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am doing so good right now! Enjoy the constant uploads while they last guys, I am super into this fic! Here is part 3, there will be a part 4 I don’t even care anymore. Enjoy! xD xox

“HELLO?” You sit up with a jolt, the sound of a voice ringing across the farm. Bucky’s eyes widen, terror written across his face. “BUCK?”

“Were you expecting someone?” You ask Bucky. He stares at you for a few seconds before jumping up and grabbing his clothes. He pulls them on and throws you yours, gesturing for you to speed up. You pull your things on quickly and stare a Bucky, a questioning look on your face.

“Stall.” He whispers, pointing you towards the door of the barn.

“What if it’s an axe murderer?” You whisper back aggressively. Bucky sighs.

“It’s not. Just…please?” He pleads, giving you puppy dog eyes. You are still unconvinced until he steps towards you and presses his lips gently against yours. “eto budet oznachat’, chto mir dlya menya”

“Ugh. Fine! Fine! I will go talk to the axe murderer.” You mutter, throwing your hands up in exasperation, ignoring Bucky’s thanks as you storm out of the barn.

“Hello?” You hear the same voice calling and you spot him by the house, peering through the open front door curiously.

“Hi there.” You call, heading straight for him. You falter slightly when he turns around, shocked. Mainly by how attractive this guys is, but also because you recognise him. This was the guy from the photo in Bucky’s bedroom, but he was different. He was taller, better built and he radiated confidence when he strode towards you smiling.

“Hello Ma’am, do you live here?” He asks, holding out his hand politely. You shake it tentatively, noting his firm grip and soft hands.

“Sure.”

“I was wondering if there is also a James Barnes living here.”

“Did you call me Ma’am?” You ask, your attempt at stalling as shockingly bad as you had expected it to be.

“Should I not have?”

“People don’t generally say that anymore. Nobody your age anyway.”

“Trust me, I am a lot older than I look.” The guy says, huffing a laugh.

“I’m (y/n).” You say, holding out your hand to shake his again.

“Steve. Rogers.” He says, smiling when he takes your hand for the second time. You can’t help but notice the flick of his eyes up and down you, his lips parted for a split second before his eyes fix back on yours. “So do you know him? James Barnes?”

“Can’t say I do. Sorry.” James must be Bucky’s real name. Bucky suits him better.

“Damn…” Steve murmurs under his breath, pulling a notebook out of his pocket and examining it closely. He glances around at the farm, squinting through the dark. “This is Manor Farm?”

“Urr…sure.” You say unconvincingly, smiling nervously.

“You don’t seem sure.” He notes, putting his notebook away and staring at you closely.

“It’s pretty dark out.” You say quickly, changing the subject. “Do you want to come inside for a drink?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.” Steve says nodding, still looking at you as if analysing your every word and movement. You smile and walk towards the house, hearing the crunch of Steve’s feet as he follows you in.

“So, it’s kinda late to be showing up at random people’s houses don’t you think?” You note looking around Bucky’s kitchen, desperately trying to work out where everything is. You locate the kettle and flick it on, turning to smile at Steve. He is standing by the door still, his eyes sweeping the room. After a few more seconds he shuts the door and walks in, turning his attention to you.

“I’ve been looking for this place for a while.” He says, sitting down at the table. “I thought I would get here earlier in the day.”

“Ah ok. So what brought you here in the first place? Tea or coffee?”

“Tea please. I’m looking for my friend, he’s urr…been missing for quite a while. Last I heard he was here. Have you lost something?” He asks, watching you closely. You had been opening and closing every single drawer in the kitchen, looking for tea bags, hoping desperately that Bucky had some somewhere.

“You know, I think I am clean out of tea.” You say casually, shrugging.

“What about in the pot on the counter that says ‘tea’?” Steve asks, pointing next to the kettle. Your heart speeds up when you spin around and spot the pot. You grab it and open it, finding it full of tea bags.

“Well would you look at that.” You say, your voice a lot higher than normal. You grab a couple of tea bags and put them on the counter, the mugs thankfully strewn across the counter by the kettle. You put the tea bags in the mugs and pour in the water, carrying them over to the table. You grab a carton of milk out the fridge and put that down next to the mugs, sitting opposite Steve.

“You got a spoon? And sugar?” He asks. The fucker. You sigh and stand up again, walking over and opening a random drawer. Knifes. You open another. Tea towels. The third one you open has spoons and you grab one triumphantly. When you turn to present it to Steve, you find him directly behind you, his eyes angry.

“Who are you?” He practically growls, seeming to swell in size with anger.

“(y/n)” You whimper, struggling to breath.

“Where is Bucky?”

“I don’t know.” You whisper, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“Don’t LIE TO ME” He shouts, slamming a fist down on the counter next to you. You cry out in fear, your knees at risk of giving way.

“I don’t know where he is I swear! My car broke down and he said I could stay here and fix it in the morning! That’s all I know!” You blurt out, completely breaking down into sobs. Steve backs away from you and sighs, the anger ebbing out of his face.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, slumping down onto a chair next to the table. “I…that was uncalled for.”

“Please don’t hurt me.” You whisper, shifting down the counter to put more space between you and Steve.

“I won’t I promise…just…please…do you know where he is?” Steve asks, sounding completely defeated. You had no idea why Bucky was so important to him, but you figured it safer to actually tell the truth this time.

“I don’t. He was here. We were in the barn, but he asked me to stall.” You blurt out quickly, and Steve looks up, a glimmer of hope flickering across his face.

“So he is here?”

“Yes. He recognised your voice. There’s a photo of you and him in his bedroom. You were in the war together right? Is that why you wanna find him?”

“Yeah we were…and kinda.” Steve replies. “Wait…why were you in his bedroom?”

“Oh I was borrowing clothes.” You explain, gesturing towards your outfit. Steve nods slowly, standing up again. “I would ask if you mind if I look around but you don’t actually live here.”

“I mind.” You hear a growl from the dark hallway leading out of the kitchen. Steve’s face drains of colour as he turns to try and find where the voice came from. The light catches Bucky’s arm as he walks into the kitchen, a steely look in his eyes.

“Buck…” Steve whispers, moving round the table so he is standing directly in front of Bucky, only a few steps away.

“How did you find me?” Bucky asks, his voice careful, but you can hear a slight waver.

“You remember me…” Steve mutters, his eyes raking over Bucky’s face as if desperate to take in every feature a thousand times.

“Yeah I…” Bucky starts, but at this his voice breaks. “I…Sorry.”

At this Bucky surges forward, clearing the space between him and Steve in a single step. He throws his arms around his neck and bundles Steve’s t-shirt up in his fist. Steve holds him in return, and you watch as they hug in silence.

“I missed you.” You hear Steve mutter into Bucky’s neck, Bucky only holding him tighter in return. You had no idea what you had stumbled into on this farm, but it definitely wasn’t boring.

“Urmm guys.” You say awkwardly and the separate, staring at you as if both of them had forgotten you were there, which they probably had. “Someone mind explaining what’s going on? Or should I just go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> eto budet oznachat', chto mir dlya menya – it would mean the world to me


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god it’s daily updates what is going on. My secret is listening to a fuck ton of Mika while writing. Shit is going down folks and yes, there will be another part. Obviously. Enjoy! xox

“Yeah who is this anyway?” Steve asks Bucky, sounding slightly confused but mostly put out.

“Please tell me you two aren’t married or something and I’ve just caused shit.” You say, trying to work out what the hell was going on.

“NO!” They cry in unison, a little too quickly.

“Alright ok you’re not married.” You say, holding your hands up in defence. “I know I don’t deserve any kind of explanation considering I’ve met both of you today but in that time I screwed you in a barn and you scared the shit out of me so I think at least a little explanation is in order.”

“You had sex in a barn?” Steve asked Bucky, a mixture of amusement and pride in his face.

“What can I say, we’re animals.” You pipe up, a grin on your face. “Get it. Animals. Barn. No? Not the time? Ok moving on.”

“Do we…?” Bucky asks Steve, taking a seat at the table. You and Steve follow suit, the three of you sitting in silence while Steve deliberates.

“Do you know who I am?” Steve asks finally, turning to you.

“You’re Steve. If you’ve forgotten that already we have bigger problems here my friend.” You say, making Bucky chuckle slightly from next to Steve.

“No no. I’m Steve Rogers. Captain America. Super soldier etcetera.” Steve explains and everything suddenly makes sense. You knew you had recognised him from somewhere else.

“I have a tshirt with your face on it.” You say thoughtfully, again making Bucky laugh.

“That’s your reaction to finding out I am Captain America.”

“OOOOOH that’s why you called me ma’am! You’re fucking like a hundred and three or whatever aren’t you.” You cry, happy to have worked something out. Steve sighs in exasperation, Bucky only continuing to laugh.

“Can we stay on topic please?” Steve says irritably, frowning as you and Bucky continue cracking up.

“Yes yes old man I’m sorry please continue.” You say, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye and attempting to calm down.

“I was in the war with Buck, he fell from a moving train into a canyon, I thought he was dead, turns out he wasn’t, his arm got chopped off hence the metal one, he was bad, now he’s good, the end. That’s about everything right?” Steve lists off and Bucky nods happily, a smile on his face.

“I…well…right.” You stammer, trying to process the amount of information that was just given to you.

“It’s hard to explain basically.” Bucky says, shrugging slightly.

“Ya don’t say. Were you expecting more guests by the way?” You ask.

“What? No?” Bucky says, looking at you questioningly.

“Well unless those helicopters aren’t for you then we may have to boil the kettle again.”

“YOU LEAD THEM RIGHT HERE!” Bucky shouts, jumping up and turning his attention to Steve.

“Bucky…” Steve says calmly, standing up and backing up slightly. “Why would I do that?”

“THEY’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME. YOU’RE WORKING FOR THEM. How could I have been so STUPID!” Bucky cries, looking around his kitchen in a panic as the sound of the helicopters landing fills the house.

“THEY MUST HAVE FOLLOWED ME HERE!” Steve cries over the noise of the helicopter. Bucky glares at him and ignores his words, clearly not believing a single part of it. “BUCK!”

“STEVE WHAT DO WE DO?!” You shout at him as Bucky runs out of the room. Steve just stands and stared at where Bucky used to be standing, looking completely defeated. You sigh and run after Bucky, leaving Steve alone in the kitchen. You scramble in the darkness of Bucky’s house, trying to work out where he could have gone. You can hear people shouting now, the crunching of boots on the ground outside getting louder by the second.

“Bucky.” You hiss, finding a back door and pushing it open, stepping into the cold night air. “Bucky!” You continue walking, trying to keep low and make yourself inconspicuous. You knew you weren’t doing a very good job of it but it was better than nothing.

You reach the stables and start calling Bucky’s name again quietly, squinting into the darkness. You would have screamed when hands shot out from the shadows and grabbed you, if a hand hadn’t been placed firmly over your mouth to muffle any noise. You fight against the grip, only freezing when you’re pulled into the light of the moon and see the glint of a metal arm around your body. When you stop moving Bucky lets you go and you spin round to face him.

“What do we do?” You whisper in a panic, noting the slight redness around his eyes.

“I don’t know.” He mutters, slumping against the inside of the stables. You had hoped he would be able to protect you, but the guy in front of you didn’t look to be in any position to fight off whoever had turned up in helicopters. He looked completely broken, staring into the distance mournfully.

“Snap out of it.” You whisper angrily, waving your hand in front of his face. “We need to get out of here!”

“Ok ok let me think!” He says, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t have much time for thinking however, for a moment after he spoke the area where you were standing was lit with sudden, brilliant white light. You try and see who was shining it but the light was so much after the complete darkness you were blinded, oblivious to what was going on around you. You feel a pair of hands grab one of your arms, another pair quickly grabbing your other arm. They physically lift you off the ground and carry you out of the stables, paying no attention to your kicking and screaming.

A commotion erupts behind you, screams echoing around the farm and seeming to be coming from all directions. As you are carried your eyes adjust to the new light and you realise you are being taken back towards the house. You continue screaming and manage to kick one of the guys in the knee, making him crumple to the ground. The sudden weight of holding you alone is too much for the other guy and he drops you, turning to help his friend. You take this opportunity to run straight towards the field with the long grass, dropping into it in a desperate attempt to hide.

You watch through the blades as a seemingly unconscious Bucky is dragged through the dirt by his arms and loaded onto the helicopter. Following him are many injured men, some limping, others clutching bleeding wounds on various parts of their bodies. Steve is then being frogmarched out of the house, two people who could most certainly not contain him on either side. His face is one of pure anger, his fists clenched tightly by his side. He gets onto one of the helicopters, which takes off immediately. Just as you think you’ve got away with it, you hear a rustle behind you and the sound of air leaving a gun, followed by a very weird feeling dripping through your body.

“You’re coming too sunshine.” A man’s voice says, but it sounds weird. Like you were listening to it through water. You blink heavily a few times and then everything goes black.

–

You wake up in a cold, damp, dark room. The sound of dripping echoing around you. You can feel restraints tied around your wrists and ankles and a feeling of dread ripples through you. Your eyes flicker open and you see her standing in front of you, her deep red hair sticking out amidst the sea of black. She sees you’re awake and steps towards you slightly before talking.

“So. Let’s hear what you have to say then.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next part people! SO many uploads at the moment, this one is starting to get juicy. I am sorry for ending every part on a cliffhanger, I just enjoy it ;) xox

“Who are you? Where am I?” You moan, blinking to try and get your eyes to adjust to the dim lights.

“Do you really think you’re in any position to be asking question?” The red head says, turning away from you and walking towards the door.

“Wait!” You cry, struggling against your restraints. She pauses and turns to you, one eyebrow raised.

“Why?”

“Why do you fucking think? I’m cold. I’m scared. I’ve been drugged and tied up. I want to know why I’m here!” You shout, glaring at her.

“Oh you’re fun. I like you.” The woman says, plucking a chair from beside the door. She walks back to you, placing the chair in front of you backwards, straddling it. She rests her chest against the back of the chair, her arms flung over the back rest in front of her.

“Why am I here?” You demand, fighting back tears, trying to look stronger than you felt.

“Let’s make it clear, I will be the one asking the questions.”

“Who are you?”

“Did you not hear a single word I just said?”

“Fine, I’ll stop asking questions. Doesn’t mean I’ll answer yours.”

“Oh yeah I really like you. I get why they chose you.”

“Chose me for what?” You ask. All she does in response is raise an eyebrow. “Ok sorry. Jeesh. Please, do continue.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Don’t sass me.” She warns, pointing a finger at you dramatically.

“Hey NAT!” Someone shouts, running into the room dramatically.

“Fuck sake Clint what?!” She cries, spinning around.

“Aha! Your name is Nat!” You shout happily, wriggling triumphantly in your seat.

“Big deal this isn’t fucking Rumpelstiltskin you would have found out my name at some point.” She grumbles, the guy who had bust in looking increasingly awkward.

“Oh…you’re still talking to…oh.”

“Well the drama is kind of gone now. I am nowhere near as scared as I was before. Ginger over here is positively terrifying.” You say and the guy called Clint stifles a laugh as Nat turns to glare at you.

“I can see why they picked her.” Clint says, spinning on the balls of his feet and leaving the room.

“PICKED ME FOR WHAT?!” You shout irritably.

“So the illusion is shattered really isn’t it?” Nat say, smiling at you gently.

“Just a tad.”

“Yeah this wasn’t my idea. Let’s get you out of here.” She stands up and walks over to you, untying your restraints. You stand up gratefully and stretch out your aching muscles, moaning appreciatively.

“So can you please tell me what the hell is going on?” You plead, following Nat as she walks out of the dingy room. When you step out you are shocked at the complete change of scenery. Around you the walls are a brilliant white, illuminating everything and making it all seem shockingly clean.

“This way.” Nat says, gesturing for you to follow her down the corridor. “So I’m Natasha. Nat.”

“(y/n). But I am assuming you already knew that.”

“Yeah.” Nat says, grinning and nodding.

“So when do I found out why I was kidnapped? And if you could tell me why I shouldn’t be terrified of you right now because you are technically holding me hostage that would be swell.” Nat laughs before replying.

“I will fill you in later, I promise. I need to know some things about you first that’s all. And as for the hostage thing, you could technically leave if you wanted but I’m guessing you’re way too curious to leave now.”

“Ok yeah. So what now?” You ask, following Nat through a set of double doors into a huge sitting room filled with people. You freeze for a second before forcing yourself to continue walking, staring at the people in the middle of the room. You follow Nat round the edge, the people in the middle slowly realising you’re there and stopping their conversation. They sure are an interesting bunch…a huge guy in a red cape with long blonde hair, a guy with silver hair whose legs looks like they’re vibrating up and down while he is sitting, a tall spindly guy with dark green robes and slick black hair. As you continued walking more people came into view. There was the guy Clint who had busted into your room, a pretty girl with long brown hair in a deep red dress whose eyes seemed to glow the same colour as her dress when she caught your gaze, a guy who you vaguely recognised with fancy looking clothes, and a little guy in a simple shirt sitting quietly in the corner.

Despite their weird mixture of looks, they radiated a sense of power and you couldn’t help but be awed as you walked through into a side room just off the living room. Nat shut the door behind you and you both took seats in the comfy chairs placed slap bang in the middle of the room.

“So why were you at Bucky’s place? Let’s start there I think.” Nat asks.

“My car broke down so I walked across the field to ask to use a phone. He took a look and said he could fix it in the morning and offered to let me stay at his.” You explain.

“You were happy staying at a stranger’s house overnight?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Oh you have no idea.” You hear Nat mutter under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She says quickly, her eyes darting to the very obvious two way mirror on the side of the wall. “What happened while you were at his then?”

“Well…He made dinner and leant me these clothes.” You say gesturing to what you were wearing which was much muddier and dirtier than he had been earlier. “Then he showed me around his farm and…urmm…we…”

“You didn’t.” Nat gasps, smirking. Suddenly it was like you were back in school, gossiping about guys.

“Yeah we kinda did.” You reply, winking at her dramatically.

“How was he?” She asks quietly.

“Not too shabby. Good stamina. Great kisser.” You say, smirking and leaning back in the chair.

“Ahem…” Nat coughs and straightens slightly. “So what happened after that?”

“Well then Steve showed up. Bucky asked me to stall and bolted leaving me with Captain America apparently. Me and Steve had a good old chat, he got angry with me, then Bucky showed up and they had a very tearful reunion. Mid hug your people rocked up, I assume they’re your people, and it all went a bit tits up from there I would say.”

“Yeah that fits what we got from Steve.” Nat says nodding happily.

“So who is eavesdropping?” You ask, nodding your head in the direction of the mirror.

“My seniors.” Nat says simply, sounding unimpressed. You nod in understanding.

“So am I allowed to know what’s going on yet?”

“I have a few more questions then I will tell you everything I swear.” Nat says, and you believe her.

“Well am I allowed to ask questions now or are you still being a hard ass?” You say and Nat smiles.

“Shoot.”

“Why was it so important you got Bucky? He was shouting about Steve leading you to him or something. What is with that guy?” At this question Nat shifts uncomfortably.

“It wasn’t Bucky we wanted.” She says slowly. “It was you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so it has come to my attention that the name of this fic doesn’t really fit with the contents anymore. I wasn’t planning on continuing it past part 2! So apologies for that, I figure i’ll leave it. It’s a tad late to change it now lol. So here is the next part, enjoy! xox

“Me?” You cry. “Why?!”

“I can’t tell you yet.” Nat says slowly, in a calming voice.

“LIKE HELL YOU CAN’T.” You shout jumping out of your chair.

“Sit DOWN.” Nat says firmly, her eyes flicking between you and the mirror. You take a breath and sit down, glaring at Nat silently, your arms crossed in defiance.

“I want to leave.” You mutter grumpily.

“Not yet.” Nat says simply.

“What do you mean not yet?!”

“I still need to ask you some more questions.” She says simply.

“Oh I am SO sorry to inconvenience you. I have been kidnapped and you won’t tell me why!”

“If you answer these questions I will tell you.” Nat says, her calm voice soothing your nerves slightly.

“You promise?” You ask quietly, struggling to fight off tears again.

“Is everything ok?” You hear someone ask from the doorway. Your head snaps up to find the source of the silky Russian accent, and find the silver haired guy standing there, eyes fixed on you. “I heard shouting.”

“Everything is fine Pietro.” Nat says, her face stony. Suddenly, she switches to Russian. Vy ne dolzhny byt’ zdes’ . Vy ne ochishcheny, chtoby pogovorit’ s ney yeshche .”

“Does everyone here speak fucking Russian?” You mutter, Pietro smiling at you. He looked sad as he replied to Natasha, also in Russian.

“YA dolzhen byl uvidet’ yeye. Do zakrytiya. Eto bylo tak davno.” He says, his voice soft and husky. Whatever he said made Nat smile softly and she nodded. “I will go now. It was nice meeting you (y/n)”

“Who was that?” You ask, your eyes still on the door after he has left and closed it. There was just something…familiar about him…

“That’s Pietro. We can talk about him and the others later.” Nat says quickly. “Let’s focus on you for now.”

“How did he know my name?” You ask, thinking back to what he had said.

“What?” Nat replies, a slight edge of panic in her voice.

“When he left. He said ‘It was nice meeting you (y/n).’ You didn’t tell him my name. How did he know?”

“You must have misheard him.” Nat says dismissively, an air of forced confidence in her voice.

“But…”

“So the questions.” Nat says, interrupting you. Her eyes kept flicking to the mirror so you let it go, figuring you had a better chance of find out what the hell was happening if you cooperated.

“Yes fine. The questions.”

“Right. Why were you at Bucky’s farm? How did you get there?” She asks first, staring at you intently.

“I was just driving to a friend’s house and my car broke down.”

“Where does your friend live?”

“Just across town.”

“Why were you in the middle of nowhere then? Surely there are easier routes?”

“I like the countryside.” You say defensively, not entirely sure where this was going. “It just felt right to go there.”

“It felt right?” Nat asks, leaning forward in interest. “In what way?”

“I dunno, just familiar I guess. I drove around places like that with my parents and it was nice. It’s that familiar feeling you get when you smell something or hear something you haven’t in a while. Or when you see someone you haven’t seen for ages like Piet…” You stop yourself. You knew him. You didn’t know how, but you knew him.

“Like who?” Nat pushes.

“Nobody. Just people. I was going to say people.”

“Alright let’s move on.” Nat says, not convinced in the slightest. “What have you been doing for the past couple years of your life?”

“Pardon?”

“It’s a relatively straight forward question.”

“Why do you need to know though?” You question. This whole situation was freaking you out more and more every minute. You felt uneasy here, almost as if you knew it and had bad memories from this place. Or that could just be the fact you’re being held hostage.

“Can you just answer? It will make this all much easier.”

“Ok fine.” You say and you think back to the past years of your life. “My memory is awful by the way.”

“Anything would be fine.”

“I’ve been working in a book shop for the past year. It’s the only work I could find.” You say. You try to think for more detail but everything seems fuzzy. You felt weird, slightly lightheaded. “I…I don’t feel too good.”

“Ok I think that’s enough.” Nat says, standing up and helping you to your feet. You walk out of the little room back into the bigger one, you leaning heavily on Nat. She is practically dragging you towards the sofas with everyone else by the time you get close enough for them to see you. Your vision is blurring and you can’t see much. You feel yourself drop and realise you’ve been sat on a sofa, concerned voices filling your ears.

The sitting helps, and slowly your head returns to normal, the fuzziness in your eyes fading.

“How do you feel?” You hear Nat ask from beside you. You blink a few times and take in the many faces in front of you, staring.

“Yeah I’m ok.” You say, turning to face Nat, your cheeks flushing. “Why am I surrounded by Cirque du Soleil?” You ask in a whisper, everyone seeming to hear and laughing in response. They all move back to their seats and a calm ebbs over the group, everyone’s eyes remaining on you.

“I’m sorry about what happened. I pushed you too far with the questions.” Nat says softly, giving you a gentle hug. You tense slightly, then relax into it, feeling comforted by her touch.

“Ok.” You say, moving back and relaxing into the sofa. “I think it’s time I am owed some answers. And boy do I have a list of questions building.”

“Ok shoot.” Nat says, grinning.

“Right. Why did you kidnap me? Where am I? What did you mean when you were going on about me being ‘chosen’? Who are you all? Why am I not scared around you? Why do I feel so comfortable in this building and around everyone that I’m not crying at being kidnapped? Where have all my memories gone?” You reel off quickly. “Oh and why hasn’t anyone got me some new clothes yet? Or some food and drink. You are really shit hosts.”

“Ok well let’s cover the last three ones. You can wear some of my clothes and someone can get you some food and water.” Nat says.

“On it.” One of the guys in the group pipes up, pulling out what looked like a phone and tapping at it. Within a few seconds a machine rolls into the room, a pile of clothes scrunched up in one claw, a tray grasped in the other. You all watch as the skeleton of a robot rolls in and heads for the steps.

“Is it going to…” You start.

“Not the steps dummy! Stop spacing out, not the STEPS!” The guy cries in exasperation as the robot thuds down the steps with a crash. “This is why I wanted to burn you.”

“I’m just gunna go ahead and take those.” You say, jumping out of your seat and grabbing the clothes. “Can I change in that room? Will the people behind the mirror be gone?” You ask Nat. The others grin at eachother and Nat nods with a smile.

“Go ahead.”

“Taa.” You say, jogging towards the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on you as you leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Vy ne dolzhny byt’ zdes’ . Vy ne ochishcheny, chtoby pogovorit’ s ney yeshche - You’re not supposed to be in here. You’re not cleared to talk to her yet.
> 
> YA dolzhen byl uvidet’ yeye. Do zakrytiya. Eto bylo tak davno - I had to see her. Up close. It’s been so long.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next part! More question and another cliffhanger on this part I am afraid but I promise things will be explained soon enough! xox

You change quickly, pulling on the better fitting, clean clothes happily. Scrunching everything else up into a ball, you open the door to leave. As the door opens however you freeze, hearing raised voices.

“WHAT THE FUCK BARNES?!” You hear Pietro shouting, his accent thickening in anger. You start to walk out of the side room to find out what was happening, but freeze again when your name crops up amidst the raises voices.

“(y/n) isn’t supposed to know yet, she can’t handle it. Keep your voices down!” You hear a voice that was unmistakably Steve’s. When did he get back?

“He fucked her in a barn. A BARN!” Pietro shouts and your cheeks flush involuntarily. This was bound to make things slightly awkward.

“I was never told I couldn’t.” You hear Bucky say. It was then you decide to walk back to the group. If they were going to talk about you, you might as well be there to make sure the facts are straight. However just as they come into view, you watch Pietro shoot at Bucky in a supersonic flash of blue. Bucky flies backwards from the force of impact, Pietro juddering to a halt. You drop the pile of clothes on the floor in shock, your mouth open.

“What the fuck just happened.” You ask, your eyes on Pietro. Everybody spins around to look at you, guilty faces staring at you from all directions. “You…that was damn quick Sokovia.”

“What did you call me?” Pietro says quietly, his eyes fixed on you.

“I…I don’t actually know.” You say, thinking back to the words that had naturally flowed out of your mouth. “What’s a Sokovia?”

“It is where I am from.” Pietro replies, the rest of the room deadly silent.

“How did I know that…?” You ask, starting to feel lightheaded again. It was all too much. You try to take a step forward, but stagger slightly. Almost immediately Pietro was at your side helping you walk to the sofa and sit down.

“SO do you feel better in the new clothes?” Steve asks, handing you a plate of food and a glass of water. You tuck in eagerly, feeling instantly better having something sitting in your belly.

“Don’t think I’m letting that go. We will come back to that later” You say before replying to Steve’s question, gesturing at Pietro who nods. “I feel much better, cheers. When did you get here?” 

“Only a couple minutes ago, they finished with us.” He explains.

“Oh so have you and Bucky made nice? It was all very dramatic when we got kidnapped.” You ask, your mouth full of mashed potatoes. Steve and Bucky glance awkwardly at each other.

“Yeah we are fine.” Bucky says quickly. “We worked it out.”

“Yeah they were after me all along apparently.” You say, moving on to the sausages.

“Well…yes.” Nat says. You had a feeling this entire conversation was making everyone incredibly uncomfortable and you had no idea why. Nobody was talking except you, so you feel obliged to try and break the awkward silence.

“So why were you shouting when I walked in?” You ask, looking to Pietro who immediately turns red. “And why were you discussing my, albeit relatively boring, sex life?” You are replied with complete radio silence from everyone in the room.

“We…well…”

“Pietro was just shocked Bucky managed to convince you in the first place, right?” The girl in the red pipes up. She is sitting on the sofa next to where Pietro is standing, playing with the throw on the arm of the sofa. Pietro scowls at her in response and she giggles, picking up the throw and pushing it against his face.

“Wanda…” Pietro mutters, his voice muffles by blanket.

“Stop being so grumpy.” She says with a laugh, and you can’t help but smile. At the same time, your gut tightens and a feeling of jealously washes over you.

“So are you guys like…together?” You ask awkwardly watching the scene in front of you.

“No!” Pietro cries, pushing the blanket firmly away from his face. “She’s my sister!”

“Oooh…” You say, a relief flooding your body. “Oh ok.” 

“Have you finished eating?” Nat asks, talking the plate off your lap and setting it on the table. “I think it’s probably time for proper introductions.”

“That would be swell.” You say, setting back into the sofa. Everyone who was standing takes a seat and you glance around, working out who you already knew. “So…Nat, Steve, Bucky, Pietro, Wanda and Clint.” You say, pointing at people round the circle.

“Yup and that’s Thor.” Nat says, gesturing towards the huge blonde guy, who waves happily and winks at you from his seat. “Then that’s…”

“Loki…” You say as Nat turns her attention to the sulky looking black haired guy sitting next to Thor. He perks up when he hears you say his name, and smiles.

“How interesting. Is it getting back its memory already?” He asks, his smile quickly turning to a sneer.

“How do I know him?” You ask the group in general, starting to feel panicked. “You’re Bruce aren’t you? I know you.” You say, the name appearing in your mind as you look at the quiet guy in the group. He nods carefully, his eyes flicking between you and Nat.

“Are you feeling ok?” Steve asks you, sounding worried.

“What’s my name then sweetheart?” You hear the last guy say, and you turn to the one who had controlled the robot.

“Tony.” You say instantly, the words coming out of your mouth like second nature. As they do you feel tears in the corners of your eyes.

“(y/n)?” Wanda says gently as tears begin to roll down your cheeks.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” You ask, the tears a mixture of anger, frustration and pure confusion.

“Ok ok we will tell you everything.” Nat says. “What do you want to know first?”

“Why am I here?”

“Now that’s tricky to answer without telling you everything else.” Nat says, thinking for a moment. “How about I just start from the beginning and tell you everything leading up to now?”

“Yeah that works.” You nod, happy to finally be getting some answers.

“Ok so it started when you were a baby.”

“What?! How far back are we going?!” You cry, your confusion increasing significantly.

“I have to for you to understand what’s happening.”

“Ok fine. Continue.”

“Right. Yes. So when you were a baby. So you were adopted yes?”

“Yeah?” You say slowly. When you glance around the group you see everyone is totally entranced, their eyes on either you or Nat. Clearly what was happening here was big.

“You were adopted by a family who works for us. You were chosen to be part of a new programme designed by S.H.I.E.L.D. We are at their headquarters now.” Nat explains.

“So what’s the programme?” You ask.

“That’s the confusing part.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG REVEALS!!! You’re finally learning what’s going on guys! Questions are being answered. Hurrah! It’s slightly earlier than normal because it’s a weekend and I am doing fuck all today, so enjoy! xox

“Oh THAT’S the confusing part?” You say sarcastically. “Never mind the fact my mum worked for you lot. Does this mean you all know who my mum is?”

“We were actually never told who your mum was.” Steve pipes up. “We know everything else though but the identity of your mother never seemed to be that important.”

“But…my mum worked for the phone company?! She was just a happy little old lady who liked hats and red lipstick!”

“So it was only you and your mum then?” Steve asks, sounding interested.

“Yeah, she never got married. She would tell me all about this soldier she fell in love with during the war. But he died and she never got over it really. I think she was quite happy to have me around to be honest.” Steve was staring at you, a strange look on his face. Nat was staring at him, the same strange look on her face.

“But yes. Your mum worked for us.”

“Well…I never would have guessed.” You muse, thinking about your mum, her hair always immaculately curled, her lipstick perfect, her rows of smart suits filling the wardrobe. “So the programme?”

“Yes. Yes the programme. I will explain it as simply as I can, the details are pretty boring and scientific so we don’t need to worry about those. Basically your DNA has been altered through your life, mutated.”

“I’m…a mutant.” You say slowly, your stomach turning.

“Technically yes. You have certain…abilities that normal people don’t have.”

“Like what?” You ask, now eager.

“Well your body heals exceptionally quickly, I doubt you ever get ill because of it. You have super strength and speed. You’re at the peak of human efficiency and more.”

“That’s…wow…” You mutter, looking down at yourself. “Can I test it?”

“Urr sure?” Nat says cautiously, glancing around at the others. Wordlessly you stand up and look around the room. Your body feels strange, you feel excited. Your fingers are tingling in anticipation as you walk towards the chair Steve is sitting on. You pick him and the chair up with complete ease, holding him above your head with one hand.

“Ok now this is cool.” You say, Steve clinging on to the chair, a scowl on his face.

“Put me down. Please.” Steve says from above you and you set him down gently on the floor.

“This is awesome! What else can I do?!” You exclaim, turning and running towards Nat. What you thought was going to be a gentle jog turned out to be much more. You shot across the room and crashed into Nat, the pair of you falling onto the sofa.

“Not as easy as it looks eh?” Pietro says, a smirk on his face as you untangle yourself from Nat and compose yourself.

“I wasn’t expecting that…sorry.”

“No worries.” Nat says smiling. “You can also…well…fly.”

“How the hell did they mutate my DNA to make me fly?!” You gasp, wanting to test it out desperately.

“It’s hard to explain.” Nat says, watching you jumping up and down trying to fly.

“Its. Not. Working!” You say desperately, jumping in the spot. You stop trying and your shoulders slump slightly in disappointment. Just as you do this you feel a strange sense of lightness come over your body. You look down and see that you’re hovering slightly above the ground.

“(y/n) be careful!” Nat calls as you rise towards the glass ceiling, laughing with delight. All you had to do was think what you wanted to do and it would happen. You probably shouldn’t have thought about how long it would take to fly to the moon looking back at it…

“HELP!” You cried as you shot towards the ceiling. You shielded your face and crashed through the glass, flying up into the sky. Once you were outside, the wind in your hair and the weightlessness was exhilarating. You did a few loops on the way up, not noticing how high you were actually going. It was only when you rose above the clouds that you realised what had happened. You flail around desperately trying to get back down, when a figure shoots up in front of you.

“Steady on Icarus.” You hear Tony’s voice say from inside the red and gold suit in front of you. He takes your hand and begins leading you back down towards the building. “No need to get too big for your britches yet.”

“Thanks.” You call, not sure if he can hear you through the whistling of the wind as you drop. You manage to get control of yourself when the hole you made comes into view. You aim yourself and drop through, landing gracefully on the floor, Tony landing beside you. You grin breathlessly at the group who all look incredibly amused.

“Have fun?” Steve asks.

“That as incredible!”

“When are you going to tell it that it is broken?” Loki asks from the sofa in a sneering voice.

“What? I’m broken?” You say in a panic.

“Thor will you get him out of here.” Bruce says, talking in a quiet but firm voice. Thor nods and stands, Loki reluctantly following.

“Am I broken? What’s wrong with me?” You plead, the excitement you had been feeling only a few seconds ago fading.

“That’s urr, that’s why we needed to bring you in.” Nat explains. “There had been a few glitches in your mutation, some errors in the programme. We wiped your memory and set you back in the regular world, hoping you would be ok. But you always managed to find your way back to something relating to S.H.I.E.L.D. That’s why we put Bucky on that farm, you were drawn to him somehow, and we aren’t sure why. We set up the whole thing to get you back because we had been getting some bad readings from you.”

“Drawn to something to do with S.H.I.E.L.D.?” You say slowly, working it out in your mind. “I’ve been here before haven’t I? That’s how I know all of you!”

“Yes, you were working with us for two years before you had the meltdown.” Nat says softly.

“Two years?! Meltdown?!”

“Your brain couldn’t cope with everything and you had a meltdown. That’s why we wiped your memory, we hoped it would help you get back to normal.” Steve explains.

“And it worked in a way.” Bruce says, taking over. “Your brain is fine, you are better mentally.”

“So what’s wrong with me now?”

“Now it’s your body.” Nat says, standing up from the sofa. “I think now would be a good time for you to go to bed.”

“No!” You cry, the mention of bed suddenly making you aware of how tired you actually are. You didn’t know the last time you had slept, it must have been at least a day since you were picked up from the farm.

“We can go over the rest in the morning. You need your rest.” Steve says, standing and walking towards you. “I’ll show you to your room.”

“Well…alright.” You say reluctantly. “Night everyone.” Everybody murmurs goodnights as you follow Steve down a corridor. You reach a door and see your name written on the front.

“This is you.” Steve says.

“From…before?” You ask, and he nods. You put your hand on the door handle and open it slowly, walking inside. You are hit with a memory so strong it almost knocks you back, the sight of your room overwhelming. There are photos plastered on the walls of you with the entire group, laughing and joking together. Clothes you recognise as yours hanging in a wardrobe. Books you remember reading sitting next to a laptop on a desk. You feel like crying as you move further in. Your legs now heavy with fatigue you climb into bed still fully clothed and your eyes drop as soon as you hit the pillow.

“(y/n)?” You hear Steve whisper from somewhere above you.

“Yes?” You reply, feeling yourself dropping off.

“What was your mum’s name?”

“Peggy. Peggy Carter.” You reply, and you could have sworn you heard a slight sob before your bedroom door shuts and you finally drift off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

You wake up feeling refreshed, confused at first where you were. It takes you a few seconds to actually process where you are and remember what had happened the previous day. When you get out of bed you groan slightly, your limbs stuff and your head throbbing. You pad over to your wardrobe and smile as you rifle through your familiar clothes. As you try and find something to wear, a particular item on a hanger draws your attention. It was a deep green, super tight looking cat suit with light blue trims. This must have been your uniform. You pluck it from the wardrobe and wriggle into it, looking in the mirror at the result.

It fit perfectly. It felt amazing. It slid on like a second skin, allowing you to move freely. It looked incredible and you felt powerful. You couldn’t bring yourself to take it off yet so you slid on a pair of skinny jeans and a shirt over the top, making sure it was covered. Feeling it under your clothes made you smile as you walked out of your room, finding everyone already in the communal area from last night. This time however they were all seated at a large, round table, which was groaning with food.

“(Y/N)!” Pietro cries, jumping up from his seat when he sees you. “Come! Have my chair!”

“Hi guys, thanks Pietro.” You say, smiling at him as he helps you sit down and tucks your chair in for you. He zips off and returns with another, squishing in at the table next to you.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Pietro asks, grabbing a plate and putting a little bit of everything on it for you.

“Urmm…fine I guess.” You say, taking the plate, a tad confused at how Pietro was acting. You look around the table, smiling at everyone, until you reach Steve. He was staring at you, a sad look in his eyes, clutching something tightly in his hand. “You ok Steve?”

“What? Yeah. I’m fine.” He says, quickly composing himself.

“Whatcha got there?” You ask, gesturing to the thing in his hand.

“Compass.” He mutters, holding it up quickly so you can have a look.

“Man that thing looks old! Can I see?” You ask, and Steve’s face turns pale.

“Urmm…”

“Give her the damn compass Rogers.” Bucky says, his mouth full of eggs. “She is gunna find out at some point.”

“Find out what?” You ask, taking the compass when Steve offers it to you reluctantly. You flip open the compass and see a photo stuck inside it. A photo of your mum. “You were…you were the soldier…”

At this Steve stands and walks away, his face stony. Ignoring everyone else’s calls you stand up and shoot after him, your speed getting you to him in only a few seconds. He keeps walking with you behind him until he reaches his bedroom.

“Can we not talk about it?” He asks, opening the door and walking inside. You follow.

“Oh we are going to talk about it.” You say, shutting the door. You grab a chair and move it to sit opposite Steve, who had perched on the end of his bed.

“There isn’t exactly much to say.” Steve protests, holding out his hand for the compass, which you hand him.

“Oh but there is. I have something for you.”

“What?”

“My mum. Before she…passed…she gave me a letter for you.”

“For me?”

“Well I didn’t know it was for you specifically then.” You explain, your heart melting at Steve’s expression. “She just said ‘if you find him, give it to him’”

“Where is it?” Steve asks quickly. His eyes are watering slightly, his cheeks flushed.

“In my bag. It’s the last thing she gave me, I like to keep it close.”

“Can you get it?”

“I would but my bag is at Bucky’s barn.” You say. At this Steve stands and shoots out of the door. You follow but find he is already gone. When you walk back to the others, he isn’t there either.

“Where was Rogers running to?” Tony asks you when he sees your back. “You didn’t mention Hitler did you?”

“He’s gone to get something.” You say, not wanting to say too much. It was more personal than anything and you weren’t sure how much Steve shared with the group about Peggy.

“So you’ve been back for a day and he’s already your bitch.” Tony notes, nodding appreciatively. “Good work jelly bean.”

“They’re my favourites!” You cry happily, grinning at Tony.

“Why do you think I call you it?” He asks, smiling back.

“So (y/n).” Nat starts to say. “Do you remember anything else since last night?”

“Well I remember everything in my room. And I found my uniform I think so that helped.” You say, digging into your breakfast again.

“Oh the green suit! Yeah that’s yours.” Nat says, smiling.

“So do I have a super hero name or something?” You ask, the thought springing to your mind.

“You’re Muse.” Pietro says, his voice gentle and friendly.

“What? Why? What does that have to do with anything?” You ask.

“You can read minds and predict the future.” Bucky says, his mouth now full of toast. Everybody’s heads whip around to stare it him, their eyes glaring. He looks back, his eyes wide and shocked. “Oh…she wasn’t supposed to know that was she…”

“You…I…you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You say, throwing your knife and fork down on the table. “Firstly, why didn’t you tell me? Secondly, how?! And why for that matter?”

“We didn’t want to overload you yesterday. We figured if we tell you everything slowly it will be easier for you.” Wanda says, and you nod. This makes sense, kinda.

“And as for how and why.” Nat continues. “The idea for you was to combine all the best skills for superheroes into one person. You.”

“Me?”

“You are strong like Hulk. Can read minds like Wanda. Are fast like Pietro. You can fight like me. You can fly like Tony. And you’re practically immortal like Thor.”

“Wait back up.” You say, your mind spinning. “IMMORTAL?!”

“Oh shit. Natasha fucked up now.” Bucky cries, laughing hard.

“Well not so much immortal.” Nat says quickly, trying to save her mistake. “You are just going to live longer, age slower and you are a lot harder to kill.”

“Oh well that’s ok then.” You say sarcastically. “So I’ve basically been a test rabbit my whole life? Some kind of messed up experiment?”

“Not exactly.” Nat mutters, looking uncomfortable.

“Whose idea was this anyway?!” You demand, glaring around the table accusingly. It takes a while before Bruce speaks up for the group.

“Well…it was your mums.”


	10. Chapter 10

“My…no…” You say, shaking your head in denial. “No she wouldn’t do a thing like that.

“(y/n), she founded S.H.I.E.L.D. Everything going on here originated from her. Sure, when your programme started it was a lot more basic. Over the years as technology has developed more ideas were put in place. More work done on your DNA. You’ve only recently been given the ability to fly. That’s new.”

“So my mum gave the ok for me to be experimented on for my whole life? For me to be turned into a mutant.” You ask quietly, still not quite believing it.

“She was doing it because S.H.I.E.L.D needs someone like you. The world needs someone like you.” Wanda says comfortingly.

“This is a lot to process.” You say, your face scrunching.

It is ok krasavitsa

“Who said that?” You blurt out, hearing the quiet voice speaking to you.

“Nobody said anything?” Tony says questioningly. “Are you gunna go ape shit again? I would rather you did it outside if you’re gunna bolt. I don’t need another hole in my ceiling.”

“No…I’m fine.” You mutter, glancing at Pietro questioningly.

You can hear me?

Yes

You reply in your thoughts, trying to push the message over to Pietro with your mind and he smiles to himself.

I didn’t think it would work. I have missed you so much.

Why can I only hear you and nobody else? How can we talk like this?

You ask him trying not to show confusion on your face, focusing intently on your bacon.

We have always had a…special connection.

You are about to ask what he means when Steve bursts back into the room, clutching your rucksack in his hand. He stares at you for a few seconds, then continues walking back towards his room. You send an apologetic look to Pietro and stand, heading for Steve’s room again. You find him standing in front of his bed with your bag. As soon as you walk through the door he thrusts it at you, walking over to shut the door behind you.

“Look, I don’t know what it says.” You say as the pair of you sit back where you were before. “My mum’s memory wasn’t what it used to be at the end. I just don’t want you to be too disappointed if it isn’t much.”

“I just want something…anything…” Steve says, watching you rummage in your bag. Eventually you find the letter, slightly crumpled, and place it in Steve’s slightly shaking hands.

“You want me to go?” You ask, watching his face carefully.

“No!” He cries, almost desperately. “Stay. Please?”

You nod wordlessly and take the letter from his shaking hands, slipping the letter from its envelope and placing it open in his hands.

“Steve?” You say cautiously when he doesn’t look at the letter.

“I can’t…can you read it to me?” He asks quietly, looking completely broken.

“Sure thing.” You say quietly, taking the letter from his trembling fingers. You take it and take a breath. You’d never read this letter, and you’d always resented a tiny bit how your mums last words were for her lost love rather than her daughter. But now you would finally know what it says. You take another calming breath, and start to read.

My darling Steve,

It has been so long, so many years since I’ve seen you. I cannot explain how much I wish you could have been able to come back to me after the war. The life we could have had together would have been magnificent. I know you are alive now, I read the papers, I was so happy. At the same time, I was sad. You didn’t get to live your life, that was taken from you and for that I am sorry.

I waited for you, for so long after the war. Everywhere I looked I saw something that reminded me of you, and as much as it hurt I took comfort from the fact that I had the fortune of meeting you in the first place. I loved you with all my heart. You were the kindest, sweetest man I know and I treasure the memories of our time together.

You are a good man Steve, and I want you to know. Everything that happened in the War, everything that makes you doubt yourself and keeps you up at night, it wasn’t your fault. You did the right thing, you did good things. You helped and saved a lot of people. Including me.

I am hoping if you are reading this letter, you’ve met my little girl. I adopted her when she was a baby, she had eyes just like yours. Please take care of her, I know she will do the same for you. With everything going on in her life she needs somebody like you, who knows what she is going through.

I love you. So much. I will see you soon. Take care of yourself soldier.

Your best girl

You finished reading and looked up at Steve, aware of the tears rolling down your cheeks. You weren’t surprised to find Steve in a similar state, taking deep, shuddering breaths.

“Steve…”

“Thank you.” He says simply, taking the letter out of your hand and folding it up, slipping it into his pocket. “Just…thank you.”

“She meant every word of that letter you know, every single word of it. She always spoke about you, always. About how much she loved you.” You say, and at this Steve breaks. You move to sit next to him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shaking shoulders. He clings to you desperately, tucking his head into the crook of your shoulder.

After a while he pulls away slightly, staring into your eyes. Without a word he leans forward slightly and presses his lips against yours softly. You knew it didn’t mean anything, you knew it was only comforting to him. You try to push him away gently, you didn’t want Steve to regret this and feel awkward. You had no doubt when he wasn’t overcome with grief he would think back and feel terrible about it all. Pietro however probably didn’t know this when he opened the door and saw you kissing on the bed.

“You bastard.” He mutters venomously under his breath, before speeding away from the door. Steve jerks away as if realising what he is actually doing.

“I’m…” He stammers, but you cut him off.

“I know.” You say, kissing him on the cheek and walking towards the door. “I need to go find Pietro, are you going to be ok?”

“Yes, go. I’m fine.” He says, wiping his eyes and composing himself. You nod and speed out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

“Did anyone see where Pietro went?” You ask the group when you run back to the table. Wordlessly they all point down one of the corridors and you follow their direction quickly. It leads you to a balcony, overlooking the city. Pietro is leaning on the edge, staring out, not acknowledging if he had heard you arrive or not.

Pietro?

You push the word into his mind and you see him twitch slightly. He doesn’t respond so you try again.

What you saw didn’t mean anything.

HOW COULD IT NOT

He shoots back and you flinch at the anger in his voice.

Steve needed me. What he did was a spur of the moment thing, probably because I reminded him of my mum. It meant nothing to me!

You shoot back, anger filling your thoughts, this time making Pietro flinch.

“Really?” He asks, turning around and saying the word out loud.

“Really.” You insist, walking over to stand next to him. “But why does it bother you so much?”

He stares at you for a second, and not saying a word he strides over and presses his lips firmly against yours. Suddenly every single memory comes flooding back to you. All the kisses you had shared together, all the times you fell asleep next to him. Your whispered conversations at night in the dark, cuddling up together on the sofa. You felt the fondness you used to have for him swelling inside you, but it felt strange. Tainted. It had been ripped away from you when your memory was wiped and now what you were feeling seemed to only be a shadow of how you had felt before.

Pietro moves back from you, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. He scans your face desperately, looking for any sign that the kiss had meant anything to you.

“I…I remember.” You say and he laughs in relief, moving back to kiss you again. This time however, you stop him. You place your hand on his chest firmly, stopping him from getting closer.

“What are you doing?” He asks, confused.

“Pietro…everything was gone. I was taken from you. Whatever we had before has changed now. I can’t just throw myself back into this again.”

“But…your memories…” He pleads, a look of desperation in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I remember how I felt but the feelings just aren’t there anymore.” At this he looks down, trying to hide the hurt in his face. “They might come back with time. That’s all I need, time. I am just getting used to being here and having powers again. Getting involved with you straight away probably isn’t the best idea. I hope you can understand that.”

“Yeah…I…” He says but his voice breaks slightly. “I understand.”

“Thank you.” You whisper, pressing a gently kiss on his cheek and smiling at him. He returns the smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

I miss being able to hold you at night

You hear his last words in your mind before he walks back inside, leaving you standing alone on the balcony.

“You alright?” You hear a voice behind you ask. When you turn and see Bucky you are surprised to feel your heart swell, your stomach flipping slightly.

“Yeah…I’m…confused.” You say with a sigh, leaning against the edge of the balcony. To your surprise Bucky walks over to you and pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly. You tense at first, but then relax, the memories of your time together in the barn filling you mind. The feel of his skin against yours, his lips on your body and yours on his. Just thinking about it made your skin hot and your cheeks flush.

“I can honestly say, I understand.” Bucky says, letting go of you.

“How?! How could you possibly know how this feels?!” You cry, slumping down on the floor, your back pressed against the cold metal of the balcony. Bucky sits next to you, his arm pressing against yours. This touch alone set your mind into overdrive. And he explains.

You lose track of time, sitting and talking to Bucky. He explains everything, how he was turned into the Winter Soldier, how he had to wait for his memories to adjust and come back. How hard it had been for him with Steve.

“You know what was going on with me and Pietro before then?” You ask, once he has finished his story. He nods but doesn’t meet your eye. “I don’t know how I can feel that anymore.”

“What?” Buck says, his head snapping to face you.

“Well…it feels different now. All the feelings I know I did have for him just aren’t here anymore.”

“Well that’s…not good?” Bucky says, turning to face straight ahead of him. You weren’t sure if you had seen wrong, but it looked like he was smiling.

“I don’t really know what to do. I mean, Steve kissed me, Pietro just kissed me, and I bloody fucked you in a barn! I’ve been back for what two days and I’m almost half way through the group!”

“Well ok the barn thing was just a…Steve kissed you?!”

“Yeah well it wasn’t anything meaningful.” You say. Before you can say another word though, Bucky has jumped up and is storming back inside. “Bucky?”

“ROGERS!” You hear him yell in a deep, anger filled voice. You jump up and shoot after him, find him and Steve facing off in the main room, surrounded by the others.

“What did I do?!” Steve says slowly, trying to calm Bucky down.

“YOU KISSED HER!”

“Oh…You…Well…” Steve stammers, looking awkwardly between Bucky and Steve.

“Steve you dog.” Tony pipes up, laughing. Everyone shoots glares at Tony and he backs away slightly looking sheepish.

“Bucky it wasn’t anything.” You try and say but they ignore you.

“Yeah I think I want to hear about this too.” Pietro pipes up. What the fuck was going on.

“SHE REMINDED ME OF PEGGY. I AM SORRY.” Steve blurts out, looking on the edge of tears. “It meant nothing!”

“You still kissed her. HER!” Bucky shouts, turning to point at you dramatically. “OF ALL THE PEOPLE. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER.”


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as the words leave Bucky’s mouth he freezes. You feel everyone’s eyes on you, your cheeks flushing at the sudden attention. Flashing across Pietro’s face are a mixture of confusion and anger. Steve just looks sad. Bucky has his back to you, so you walk around the group slowly so you can see his face. He looks terrified.

“Bucky.” You say slowly. “How do you feel about me?”

“I…” He says, straitening up and staring at you, his eyes wide. Before he says anything else he turns and hurries out of the room. You start to follow but Steve grabs your arm stopping you.

“I would leave him. At least for a little bit.” You sigh and nod, walking over to the sofa and slumping down feeling incredibly confused. Steve sits next to you and pulls you into a hug, seeing the expression on your face.

“This has all got so fucked up.” You say with a sigh. “Why did my fucking mum have to do this to me in the first place?”

“About that.” Steve says, moving back from the hug and talking quietly. “I need a word.”

“Ok?” You say, slightly warily. You stand and follow him, walking past the rest of the group who are all still standing, speaking in hushed voices. As you walk past you catch Pietro’s eye. You see his eyebrows furrow and suddenly a wave of feeling pushes into your mind.

The emotion, the want, the love is so overwhelming you stagger slightly, catching yourself before you fall. You tear your eyes away from his and for the first time since you’d been here, your heart hurt for Pietro. You almost felt guilty leaving him and going with Steve, it was strange.

“Can I just…I want to apologise for…” Steve struggles to get his words out as the pair of you walk into his room.

“Steve its fine. I understand.”

“You just reminded me so much of Peggy but…me and you…I could never…”

“Oh god no. No no.” You say quickly, laughing slightly. “You were my mums long lost love or whatever, that would be fucked up in so many ways.”

“Ok…I’m glad we sorted that.” Steve says, laughing and smiling. Looking a lot more relaxed than before he gestures for you to sit on his bed. You weren’t about sitting, you instead flung yourself onto the bed, lying down and getting comfy.

“Care to join me?” You say, winking at him and patting the bed next to you.

“Don’t make it weird. We just covered this.” Steve replies, chortling and lying down on the bed so you’re facing each other.

“Let’s be best friends forever.” You say in a whisper, widening your eyes and smiling manically at Steve.

“Ok yup. You made it weird.”

“Nah its fine bestie. So what did you want to talk about?” You ask, grinning.

“Peggy. Well, you’re mum. The whole experiment thing.”

“Oh…” You say, the smile fading off your face. At his words your stomach twisted nervously and you suddenly felt incredibly emotional.

“I know you probably resent her for what she…”

“She turned me into a living experiment Steve. I don’t think resent is a strong enough word.” You mutter bitterly.

“Ok hear me out. Once I found out Peggy was your mum I did some digging. Peggy would never do a thing like that to anyone, let alone a baby.”

“Right?”

“So I found a file in the archives. One that looked like it had been hidden. It had Peggy’s case notes about you in. What we were told about you wasn’t the whole story.”

“What?!” You say, your heart hammering in your chest.

“She saved you.”

“She…what do you mean she saved me?” 

“Well Peggy started S.H.I.E.L.D. so she was allowed to go pretty much anywhere. Until she found a room that she didn’t know about. She forced her way in and found you there, shut in an incubator, in a dirty horrible room. Someone in S.H.I.E.L.D. had found you, stuck you in that dingy room and started experimenting on you. Peggy took you away and looked after you, taking control of the programme. Most of the DNA shifts had already been completed so she ran the programme with your safety in mind. She made sure that whatever they did to you was only completely necessary to stop you from dying or something, and not just for kicks to see what would happen.” Steve explains, sounding almost excited by his enormous discovery. “Well…that’s what was written down anyway.”

“So…she didn’t adopt me purely for experiments.” You say slowly, trying to comprehend what Steve had just told you.

“No. She saved you from them.”

“Oh…oh Steve. Thank you.” You whisper, feeling the tears roll down your face. He smiles and wipes them off your cheeks gently.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, you know. Peggy wanted me to take care of you and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

“So are you like my dad now?”

“Why do you always have to make it weird?” Steve asks with a sigh while you start giggling.

“Sorry sorry. Thank you for all this though Steve. I feel like we’ve bonded.”

“Yeah that’s one word for it.” He replies, grinning. You take a deep breath and compose yourself.

“You think I should go talk to Bucky now?”

“Probably a good idea.”

“Ugh ok. This isn’t going to be awkward at all.” You say, sitting up and hopping off the bed.

“Just…be gentle with him.” Steve says, walking with you towards the main room. As the group comes into view you see Bucky standing, waiting for you.

“Bucky…” You say but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he stares at you with a look of intense concentration. You feel his thoughts struggling to get into your mind, so you let them in to make it easier. However he quickly tries harder and the rush of information bursting into your mind is too much and your vision goes black. All you can see are memories.

You laughing with Pietro on the sofa, Bucky sitting opposite you seething. Bucky talking to Steve, wondering what Pietro could have that he doesn’t. Bucky slowly but surely falling deeply in love with you, making it harder for him every minute he was spent with you. Every stolen look, every word spoken. Him taking a photo with you at a party and keeping it on his phone just to remember you. The utter heartbreak he felt when you had your memory wiped and got taken away. Then when the chance to see you again, him jumping for it. Setting up the entire production at the farm to get you back to S.H.I.E.L.D. But then when he sees you again, struggling not to run and pull you into an embrace, his heart fit to burst. Then the moment of weakness in the barn, when he just couldn’t say no anymore, when you were so accepting of him and happy to be with him, it made him feel like he was actually with you. It was how he wanted it to be. Then coming back here and having to be around you all the time again, with Pietro getting in the way. Pietro who you said you didn’t like anymore. When Bucky thought he had a chance, his best friend stole it from him.

The waves of confusion, anger, feelings, memories, want, need, resentment and so much more brought you to your knees. Everything pouring into your mind was white hot, piercing your brain in the most painful way. You felt your hands clutching your head, falling onto the floor and curling up into a ball.

“BUCKY STOP.” You hear someone scream, but to you it is only a faint noise over the scream erupting from your mouth. You cry out, your head pulsing and throbbing so much you didn’t think it would ever stop.

“(Y/N)!!!” Someone shouts but there is no way you can answer. What Bucky had done seemed to have broken every wall S.H.I.E.L.D. had put up in your mind and every memory that had been hidden from you was pouring into your head. It was overwhelming, too much. You couldn’t handle it.

Still clutching your head you are vaguely aware of someone picking you, whispering soothing words in your ear. By now the pain your head had spread through your entire body, you felt like you were going to shut down.

“(y/n) just hold on a little bit longer.” You hear Steve’s voice clear in your ear and you relax a little bit into his arms, knowing that he would take care of you. Sure enough though, it doesn’t take long for the pain to practically double, ripping through your body and you instantly pass out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this is such a late upload, I took a break to go floss and series of events you would not even believe happened that stopped me from writing for a good hour. Plus I seriously struggled with this part. I’m still not 100% happy with it but I figured it was as good as it was gunna get. I hope it’s ok! xox

Suddenly, the pain was gone and you were awake, but the world was still black.

“Any sign of her waking up?”

“No, they said we need to wait a bit longer.”

“Weren’t they just going to inject her?”

“Her body isn’t stable enough yet. They need to wait a bit longer.”

The voices around you were hushed and sad, talking about you as if you weren’t in the room.

“Do you think she can hear us?”

“They said she might be able to. Wanda’s going to come in later and try talk to her.”

Can you hear? Of course you can hear. When you try to open your eyes and move to get their attention, you find your body isn’t responding. You start to panic, straining to make yourself move, but nothing works.

“Look at the monitor!”

“Her heart rate has shot up…”

You hear the people in the room whose voices you were struggling to comprehend, suddenly got louder. As if they were speaking right in your ear, which you thought they probably were.

“(y/n) if you can hear us, everything is going to be ok. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

That was definitely Steve, you could hear his voice properly now.

“Yeah because you did so fucking well the first time.”

This line was delivered in a bitter Russian accent, Pietro.

“Pietro leave off. How could I have possibly stopped it from happening?”

Then their voices fade again and you are left alone in silence, your world black.

You lose track of time lying in the darkness with only your thoughts. Which had all come back to you. You could remember all the missions you went on. You were part of The Avengers. You had been in love with Pietro. You were best friends with Bucky, but to him it was much more.

That was what got to you most.

“(y/n)?” You hear in your head, Wanda’s voice ringing clear.

“Wanda?!” You shoot back, excited to be able to talk to someone.

“Oh thank god. We thought we had lost you. How are you doing?”

“Ok I guess. I don’t hurt anymore but I also can’t move so ya know. It has its ups and downs.”

“They’re bringing you round from the anaesthetic soon.” Wanda explained, her voice in your head soft and kind. “The pain is going to come back but you will be able to move.”

“Ok that’s good. I need to talk to Bucky.” You say in your head without even thinking about it.

“Is that really the best…”

“I need to see him Wanda.” You say firmly and you feel the awkwardness radiating through her mind.

“Well…ok. There’s been…a lot going on though while you’ve been out.”

“How long have I been out?” You ask, concern flashing through your mind.

“Two weeks.”

“TWO WEEKS?!”

“You were damaged (y/n). You needed time to heal.”

“And am I healed?”

“Well…sort of.” She says, and you can again sense her awkwardness.

“What do you mean sort of?”

“We should probably wait till you’re awake and then explain.”

“So what’s been going on?” You ask, noticing a slight pain shooting through your body. “Mother fucker…”

“You should be coming round soon, the pain should be more bearable than before. But urmm…Bucky and Pietro got into a fight and well…Bucky is a bit unstable at the moment.”

“Unstable?” You question, the pain in your body increasing.

“It’s…difficult to explain.”

Your eyes flicker open, the bright light above you momentarily blinding you.

“Wanda?” You croak, your throat sore. You blink furiously and slowly your eyes adjust, revealing Wanda looking over you looking concerned.

“How are you feeling?”

“Oh right as rain.” You say, struggling to sit yourself up, people flitting around you checking machines and various instruments of torture. “What happened to me?”

“Well…this is what we were worried about. Your body was struggling to cope anyway and Bucky’s little fit of passion pushed you over the edge. Everything coming back that fast wasn’t good in the slightest.”

“So…what’s going to happen to me now?” You ask cautiously, eying the people around you warily as they began disconnecting various tubes.

“There is one thing we can do. Something your mum was planning from the start. I think she knew what was going to happen, she was a smart lady. She put all this into place and it’s been developing your whole life.”

“What has?” You ask, but before she can answer…

“Let me SEE HER!” You hear shouted from outside the door and Wanda sighs, her shoulders slumping.

“Bucky calm down!” You hear Steve cry, followed by a thud. Bucky swings the door open and runs in, Steve shouting after him. “THE FUCKER PUNCHED ME!”

“(y/n)” Bucky says, standing in the doorway. You stare, open mouthed at the sight in front of you. Bucky’s hair is ragged, his face dirty. His eyes look puffy and bloodshot as if he’d been crying, and it didn’t look like he’d slept in days. He had a black eye and what looked like a healing split lip, more cuts and bruises dotted down his arm. There was blood seeping through his t-shirt from what looked like old wounds, you could just about see the bandages through the cloth. Someone had attacked him, and they hadn’t gone easy.

“What happened to you?!” You gasp, motioning for him to come closer.

“Pietro happened to me.” He mutters, scowling at Wanda who backs away, her hands help up.

“He…he did this to you?”

“He thought I killed you. I…I did too.”

“I’m fine Bucky. Honest.” You say and Wanda scoffs from the corner of the room.

“Wanda can you give us a minute please.” You say, looking at her sternly.

“Do you really think that’s the best idea?” She says, glaring at Bucky.

“Please?” You plead, giving her the most meaningful look you can. She sighs and walks out the room. As the door opens you hear Steve again moaning.

“He fucking punched me! Did you see? Did you see him punch me?”

“You need to get a hold of yourself.” You say when Wanda has shut the door, muffling Steve’s whines.

“I…thought I’d lost you again.” He mutters, a tear rolling down his cheek. You reach out and take his hand in yours, pressing your lips against his bruised knuckles gently.

“It’s going to be ok. Just…don’t do that again ok?” You say and Bucky managed a slight smile through his tears. Quickly though, the smile is wiped off his face and he pulls his hand out of yours. He backs away, shaking his head and frowning.

“No…I can’t…”

“What? What are you talking about?” You say, your heart racing.

“I can’t hurt you again. I can’t be near you. I can’t.” He mutters, continuing to back away.

“Bucky it’s ok you won’t…”

“IT’S NOT OK.” He shouts, knocking a pile off books that had been sitting on a table at the end of your bed into the floor.

“Bucky!”

“I need to go. I can’t. I’m sorry.” And at this he pulls open the door and walks out, not looking back.


	14. Chapter 14

It was two days since Bucky had stormed out and hadn’t come back. They were only just letting you out the infirmary room and actually socialise with real people on a regular basis again. Steve had visited often, as had Nat and some of the others. Pietro and Bucky however had dropped off the face of the earth. You didn’t understand why Pietro was avoiding you. Steve had let slip that Pietro had slept in the room with you while you were in a coma most night, but as soon as you were awake and able to talk he spooked. 

When you realised this a mixture of emotions filled your body. Since the…incident you were overly sensitive to any kind of emotion, the simplest thing blown completely out of proportion. When Steve brought you flowers this morning because you were allowed to leave your room you sobbed for a good five minutes because he was the sweetest guy ever.

The whole Pietro thing threw your emotions completely out of whack. You were so touched that he had slept in the room so much and your heart swelled when you found out. You were upset and hurt that he hadn’t come to visit you since you woke up. You were angry that he’d attacked Bucky and done so much damage. All in all you were a tad confused how you felt about him at the moment.

“(Y/N)!” Thor roared across the room as you walked slowly towards the group, Steve supporting you gently with his arm. You were a bit goofy from the pain medication you’d been given and were struggling to walk a little.

“Hey guys.” You say with a grin, noting a faint blue blur leading out of the room down towards the bedrooms. You try not to let it bother you, instead focusing on the excitable chatter from everyone else that was engulfing you. You get bombarded with questions asking how you feel? Are you’re hungry? Could you hear when in the coma? What was it like? Did you have an out of body experience or any weird shit like that?

The last question was of course Tony’s followed by

“You could have seen some weird shit walking around this place as a ghost. Some freaky stuff happens. Especially in my bedroom.” At this he winks and the other groan in disgust and annoyance at his bad joke.

“I don’t want to know anything that goes on in that section of hell thanks.” You say, grimacing at the thought.

“You’re missing out jelly bean.” Tony says with a grin, giving you a tube of jelly beans, accompanied by another wink. Unsurprisingly this is enough to set you off again and Tony backs away in horror as you start simultaneously sobbing and pouring the jelly beans straight from the tube into your mouth.

“It’s getting late.” Steve says quickly, taking you by the hand. “You should probably get to bed and rest. Doctors’ orders.”

“YOU’RE SO GOOD TO ME.” You wail, jelly beans spilling out of your mouth as Steve leads you towards your room, the others cracking up behind you.

“If I leave you you’re not gunna choke on sweets or anything are you?” Steve asks once he’s tucked you into bed.

“You’re so pretty.” You say slowly. Maybe those pain meds you’d been given were stronger than you thought. He smiles and sighs, kissing you on the forehead before turning off your light and shutting the door. It wasn’t long before your eyelids grow heavy and you feel yourself slipping into a deep sleep.

You can tell you’re still asleep, but feel somebody’s thoughts entering your mind. Somebody’s dreams. You knew this wasn’t intentional, just that you had a deep connection with this person. Pietro. It took a while for the image to focus and were shocked to see yourself standing in silky black underwear sharp and clear in your mind.

The image flickers and changes. Pietro is with you now, pressing sloppy kisses down your neck to your chest. Your breathing is heavy and your fingers curl into his hair as he unhooks your bra and bites gently on your breast, licking and soothing the bite after to leave a little red mark as a reminder.

The image flicks again, the change faster this time. You’re completely naked, lying on the bed, Pietro looking down on you. His feelings radiated through your head, complete and utter love and adoration. It was so strong, so powerful it shocked you.

Next, Pietro close to your body, kissing down your stomach, kissing each of your hip bones, both of your thighs closer and closer to where you desperately wanted him. The feel of his fingers tight against your thighs, holding them apart was overwhelming, your grip on his hair tightening.

Then you are standing again, you being the one kissing Pietro. You are pressing him against the wall, standing on your tiptoes, pinning his wrists against the wall, your mouth on his. You bit his lip and he groaned, opening his mouth, your tongue entering his. Your hips buck against his and he moans deeply, pushing his hips outs to grind against yours.

But then the scene changes. You are standing, fully clothed, in the middle of the main area. You are clutching your head, a look of horror and pain on your face. The image flickers between you and Bucky, anger and desperation flooding your mind. The image turns back to you just as you fall to your knees, a blood curdling scream bursting from between your lips.

The fear presenting itself with this dream is so strong it’s pushed onto you and you feel scared for yourself, watching as you writhe on the floor clutching your head, screaming. Steve lunges forward and picks you up easily in his arms, running out of the room.

The feeling of fear doubles and is coupled with just as strong a feeling of anger. Pietro’s gaze turns to Bucky and suddenly he lunges, throwing the first punch. The entire fight is relived in your mind and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Bucky not even fighting back. Simply standing and letting Pietro attack him. Bucky’s lip bursting, then crumpling under the force of the second punch to the face which would have been the one to give him the black eye. Pietro picks up Bucky and throws him across the room, slamming him into the glass coffee table which shatters, shards pushing into Bucky’s skin.

But still Bucky does nothing to resist, looking defeated and empty when Wanda manages to restrain Pietro. Natasha and Bruce are dragging Bucky away now, a trail of blood left on the floor. Thor and Wanda try to calm Pietro down but it does nothing, his chest heaving, blood on his shaking hands.

You wake up with a yell, shocked and confused by what you had just seen.

“(y/n)?” You hear whispered through the door, accompanied by a knock.

“Yes?” You say cautiously, recognising Pietro’s voice instantly. Your pain meds had worn off by now and you felt every movement as you sat up to watch Pietro walk into your room.

“Are you ok?” He asks, his face full of concern.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You mutter, struggling to stay propped up on your elbows.

“I…I heard you shout. I was worried you were hurt or…” His sentence trails off and he stands slightly pathetically in the entrance of your room, his arms swinging slightly by his side.

“Well I was watching your dreams if that gives you any idea how I feel.” You say bitterly, feeling instantly bad when he flinches at your tone. “Pietro why are you actually here.”

“What?”

“My memory might have been wiped but I know you. You aren’t only here to check on me.”

“I…well…it’s stupid. I will go.” He mutters, heading for the door.

“No wait!” You cry and he stops, turning back to face you. “Tell me. Please.”

“I…well you saw my dream wasn’t that great. I have lots of night terrors.” Pietro says slowly and you nod, remembering. “You may remember…it’s silly…when we were…when you and I…I would come here so I wasn’t alone. It was the only way I could sleep.” He practically whispers the last part, his head hanging as if he was ashamed for even coming to you in the first place.

“Well you have to be gentle with me, everything hurts. You better not fidget.” You say, managing to shift over your bed slightly and leave a space. The memories of your nights with Pietro were soothing, feeling his arms around you and his face pressing into the back of your neck.

“Really? You don’t…mind?”

“Get into bed before I change my mind.” You say and within a second he is curled up next to you, keeping his space. You sigh and reach round behind you, taking his hand and pulling it over your waist.

“(y/n)?”

“It’s ok Pietro. This is just for one night ok.” You say and Pietro snuggles up to you in exactly the way you remembered.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, sorry there wasn’t an upload yesterday! I’ve planned out the rest of the fic though and it’s gunna get real exciting and heartbreaking very soon. So that’s something for you to all look forward too :D xox

You wake up wrapped in a pair of strong arms, snuggled warm against another body. You open your eyes slowly and look up in confusion, seeing that your head is resting against Pietro’s chest. Pietro is still asleep, breathing deeply, a small smile on his face. You wriggle slightly to get comfortable, and this small movement wakes him.

“Morning.” You mumble, smiling as you feel his arms tighten around you. You look up into his eyes and see him open them slowly.

“Good morning.” He says sleepily, moving his head down to place a sloppy kiss on your lips. He moves back and it takes him a second to realise what he had done. “I’m sorry it was just automatic from before and…”

“Just…shut up a sec…” You say slowly, pushing yourself up on your elbows and pressing your lips against his again. Just as it had when he kissed you a moment ago, feelings rushed through your body this time. The kiss was familiar but at the same time new and exciting. There was a rush of emotions and at the same time confusion in your mind as you stared down at Pietro’s shocked face.

Every logical thought at that point leaves your head. You and Pietro simultaneously move and your lips collide, every feeling that had been supressed until now breaking free.

“Is this…a good idea?” Pietro asks between kisses, sounding breathless.

“I don’t care.” You mumble into his lips, swinging your leg over to straddle him. This seems to supress any doubts in his mind, his arms wrapping tight around you, holding you against him.

You quickly pull your top over your head, throwing it carelessly aside, letting Pietro sit forward so he can do the same. The skin on skin contact drives you crazy, wanting to be even closer to him. Everything you had felt for him before is in your mind, memories of moments like this, moments of closeness clouding your inhibitions.

Deep down you knew what you were doing was bad, you knew you shouldn’t have even let him sleep in your bed in the first place. As you kissed Pietro, more than enthusiastically, in the back of your mind was one word circling slowly.

Bucky. Bucky. Bucky.

A feeling of dread settled in your stomach, but you pushed through, the excitement and anticipation of being with Pietro only just more prominent. You mind is in a daze as you find your underwear removed, Pietro rolling you over onto your back, his fingers slipping inside you. Your back arches and you throw your head back in pleasure, Pietro pumping his fingers upwards inside of you. His lips press urgent kisses all over you.

“I haven’t touched you in so long.” He whispers in your ear, his voice husky and full of arousal. This is too much for you and you move his hand away from you, turning your attention to his still present underwear. You pull it off quickly and start fisting his already hard self into your hand.

“I need you now.” You whisper back and he groans, taking your hands and pinning them above your head. He thrusts into you quickly and roughly, seeming to want to make up for all the time missed.

It doesn’t take long for him to push you over the edge, and you feel yourself close around him, your muscles tensing. You mutter his name and rake your fingers down his chest, these little things too much for Pietro. His thrusts quicken even more and you feel him tense as he climaxes, his face one of pure concentration as his thrusts get sloppier.

“That…was unexpected.” He gasps, rolling off you and panting, sweat glistening on his chest.

“Yeah…” You say. Your thought were a whirlwind, confusing and emotional.

Bucky. Bucky. Bucky. Bucky.

“You wanna go get some breakfast?” Pietro asks, watching you clamber out of bed and redress, suddenly feeling guilty.

BUCKY. BUCKY. BUCKY.

“Yeah…sure.” You say, shooting him a smile that definitely didn’t reach your eyes. You wait for him to dress and lead the way out of your room, checking nobody can see you and Pietro coming out together. You only get a couple of steps down the corridor though before a strange feeling shoots through your body. You manage a few more steps before your legs fail you and you crumple.

“SOMEONE HELP.” You hear Pietro shout, dropping to the floor next to you and cradling your head. You hear footsteps pounding towards you and turn, seeing the group charging towards you. You are again lifted into Steve’s arms and carried away, this time awake.

“Where are we going?” You manage to say, only just staying conscious. You weren’t in pain, it just felt as if your body was failing you.

“The infirmary.” Steve says, his voice sounding strange from the pace of his walking along with the weight of you in his arms.

“Oh…ok…” You say slowly, resting your head on Steve’s chest, letting him take you back.

—

You only realise you’d blacked out again when you wake up in the same bed you’d been in before, Steve sitting in a chair next to you.

“Steve.” You say, getting his attention. He jumps up and clutches your hand, concern on his face.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Are none of the others here? Pietro? …..Bucky?” You ask, sounding slightly more desperate than you had intended.

“No, they made a bit of fuss so they’re not allowed in anymore.” Steve says, a small smile playing across his lips.

“So why am I back? Do they know what’s wrong?” You ask, watching as Steve’s face grows uncomfortable.

“Well…yes. Your body isn’t coping with the genetic changes. Your body was just generally too weak to handle it.” He says gently and you nod in understanding, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Can they fix it?”

“They think so…” Steve says, relief instantly flooding through you.

“What do they have to do?”

“Well…you know how I was injected with a serum to make me like this?” Steve says, and you nod, waiting for him to continue. “They think they’ve recreated it. They want to inject it into you.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA MANIC LAUGHTER ENJOY THIS CHAPTER.  
> I am very proud of this chapter so that’s probably a bad thing for you :D xox (also for the person who asked about Loki I brought him back in this chapter especially for you)

It takes you a few days to get back to your normal strength, enough to walk about and do things for yourself. When you finally got round to leaving again your doctor gave you a very stern lecture about not exerting too much energy. He raises an eyebrow and even though he wasn’t saying it explicitly, you knew he knew exactly what had happened. Your cheeks red, you thank him and scurry out of the room, finding Steve waiting for you.

“Oi. Where’s my flowers?” You ask, grinning as he hugs you.

“If I buy you flowers every time you end up here I’ll be broke.” Steve says chuckling, the pair of you making you way back to the main room.

“So anything happen in my absence?” You ask cheerfully, skipping every now and then, the freedom to move feeling delightful.

“Well everyone knows about the whole serum thing now. Some took it better than others…” Steve says, trailing off uncomfortably.

“You know what, I’ve had enough drama. I don’t wanna know.” You say defiantly.

“Ok fine. Apart from that…Loki has been stirring shit which isn’t that big of a surprise.”

“Stirring shit how?” You ask curiously.

“Well, he likes to disguise himself as other people and fuck shit up basically.”

“Language Mr Rogers.” You say tutting, laughing when he glares at you.

“He changed into me and told Nat that she was my one true love and that I wanted her to become Mrs Captain America and have babies called Eagle and Freedom.” Steve mutters, clearly incredibly unimpressed. You however are doubled over laughing, leaning against a wall for support.

“Freedom and…and Eagle.” You manage to say through your laughter, tears streaming down your face.

“It’s not funny.” Steve pouts, crossing his arms and watching you, clearly annoyed. You straighten up and wipe the tears off your face, struggling not to burst out laughing again.

“No no. Sorry. Very bad. Very very bad stuff.” You say seriously, nodding as Steve storms off ahead of you. “Hey wait up!”

“Moving on.” Steve says when you catch up.

“Yup. Fine. So Loki’s being a bastard. What else?”

“I think that’s about it.” Steve says, pushing the door open to the main room. The pair of you walk in, only a few people sitting in the sofas in the middle of the room. Loki sits sulkily next to Thor, glaring at everyone and everything in the room. Bruce is sitting chatting absentmindedly with Thor, fiddling with what looks like a kids first chemistry set. Thor is listening to Bruce intently, examining what Bruce was doing closely.

“Hey guys.” Steve calls as you approach, everyone’s heads raising. Thor and Bruce smile and wave when they see you, Loki simply sneering. When you see Loki a giggle escapes your mouth and Steve shoots you a glare.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asks, leaning away from Bruce’s chemistry set.

“Not too shabby. The doctor says…” Your words however get lost somewhere between your brain and your mouth, your eyes locking on the person who had just walked into the room. Bucky stood, showing no emotion on his face. He had cut his hair, shaved, put on a…uniform.

“Hello.” He says quietly, his gaze steely. He looked incredible. He was hot before but now…now he was all dressed up…

“Well you don’t have clean up well…” You mutter, but he doesn’t respond.

“Can I have a word?” He asks, turning and walking away without letting you reply. You look at Steve and shrug, taking off after Bucky who is still striding away from you without looking back. You make it to his room just after him, walking in after him and shutting the door.

“So what’s the haircut and the snazzy uniform in aid of?” You ask, trying to break the tension that had filled the room as soon as you shut the door.

“I wanted to show you what I used to be like.” He says, his voice still giving away no emotion.

“Well you look good Buck.” You say, smiling. His lip twitches slightly and you think he’s about to smile, but he quickly stops himself.

“You can’t do it.” He says, taking a few steps away from you.

“Do what?” You ask, confused.

“Do the serum injection. You can’t.”

“But…it might be the only thing that can keep me alive?”

“But what if it doesn’t work?” Bucky cries, his previously expressionless face erupting with anger.

“Well I’m going to die if I don’t try so why not give it a go!”

“I WILL NOT LOSE YOU AGAIN!” He shouts, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

“THIS IS NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE!” You shout back, annoyance flashing through you. You both stare at each other for a few seconds. Then, in sync, you both launch at each other, your lips crashing together desperately. This. This felt right.

His tongue slid over your bottom lip, his hand grabbing your waist and holding you close to him. He started walking you backwards, pressing you firmly against his door, deepening the kiss. You ran your fingers through his now short hair, still managing to get a grip and pull him closer.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You mutter when Bucky tears his lips away from yours, instead pressing them to your neck. All you can think about is how only a few days ago you were doing this and a lot more with Pietro. All you could think about was the guilt you had felt when you were with Pietro, and the guilt you felt now. It was all very confusing.

“Why not?” He asks breathlessly.

“Because I have feelings for Pietro.”

“What?” He says incredulously, pulling away and staring at you.

“I also have feelings for you. I am just…so confused and I don’t want to make any wrong choices.” You explain, sighing.

“Let’s run away.” Bucky says instantly.

“What?”

“Don’t think. Let’s just go. I will look after you, you won’t need to worry about the serum. We can be together.” He says, his face lighting up with excitement.

“They’d just find us and bring us back.” You say, your heart racing at the idea of running away.

“You don’t know that. Don’t tell me you aren’t even considering it.” Bucky says, pressing his lips urgently against yours again. For a moment you melt into the kiss, closing your eyes and sighing. You snap out of it though and break the kiss gently.

“You’re only saying this as a spur of the moment kind of thing.” You say, trying to convince yourself as much as Bucky.

“I’m not. Why do you think I did all this?” He says, gesturing to his hair and clothes. “I would be good for you. I would look after you. I wanted you to see what I used to look like. We can be a normal couple and do normal things. No avengers, no S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Bucky…I…I don’t know.” You say, sighing and walking away from him, slumping down on the bed. “I just don’t want to make that kind of rash decision. What if it’s the wrong one? How do I know you won’t get bored of me and just up and leave?” You start ranting, every worst case scenario springing to mind.

Bucky stares at you intently for a moment, a strange expression on his face. When he opens his mouth, what comes out is something you never would have expected in a million years. “Marry me.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Aaaaand as per it ends in a cliffhanger. I am both sorry and not sorry at the same time. I love a good cliffhanger :D Enjoy! xox

1 week later

“You need to come out of your room at some point.” Steve says with a sigh, perched on the end of you bed.

“No I don’t.” You say resolutely, not looking up from your book.

“Oh come on. This is getting ridiculous now. What even happened with you and Bucky?!” Steve cried desperately, looking annoyed.

“You want to know?” You say, slamming your book shut and throwing it down on the bed. “He proposed Steve. What the fuck was I supposed to do. He asked me to run away with him and marry him so we could live a proper life.”

“He proposed?” Steve says thoughtfully, a small smile playing on his lips, his attitude completely changing. “What did you do?”

“I said I had to think about it and bolted. I panicked, I didn’t know what else to do!” You say, feeling tears welling in your eyes.

“How interesting.”

“Interesting?” You say, looking at Steve’s face. “What are you on about?”

“Nothing. I’m going to go now.” Steve says, standing and leaving immediately, practically slamming the door behind him. You stare at the door for a few seconds, completely baffled. Then, you hear a knock on the door.

“Yeah?” You call tentatively, sighing when Steve peeks his head round the door. “What now?”

“What do you mean what now? I brought you a sandwich.” Steve says looking hurt, sidling into your room with a plate of food.

“But you were just here? You got weird and left.” You say, sitting up slightly in bed, your body filling with dread.

“No…I was making you a sandwich. I haven’t seen you all day…” Steve says slowly.

“Loki…” You mutter together under your breath. Steve throws the plate of food onto your desk and you jump out of bed, the pair of you racing down the corridor. When you get to the main area, you see everyone crowded in the middle, silently staring at Loki who is sitting on the sofa smiling menacingly.

“You told him?!” Bucky shouts when he sees you’ve walked into the room.

“Well in my defence I thought I was telling Steve. He was just doing his stupid pretend to be someone else thing.” You say quickly, pointing at Loki accusingly.

“I felt it was only fair to Pietro, who you dated for quite a while. He had a right to know.” Loki says in a patronising voice and you surge forward, Steve having to hold you back. It was then you look at Pietro. You couldn’t form the right words to apologise to him, even though it really wasn’t your fault. All you can do is stare into his wide, heartbroken eyes.

I just thought…after…I guess I was wrong.

You hear him say into your mind and you jump at the chance to reply.

I didn’t say yes yet.

You reply quickly, but if anything this only makes it worse.

The fact you said ‘yet’ doesn’t really fill me with confidence.

He pushes this thought into your head filled with venom.

I didn’t give him an answer because I have feelings for you.

You shoot this back quickly and he opens his mouth slightly, before closing it tightly shut again in determination.

You can’t just keep flitting between me and Bucky. I love you. But I will not let you play me when you can’t decide who to be with. Come and see me when you’ve grown up and made a proper decision.

At this he turns and walks away, leaving you to stare blankly after him. It was around then a feeling of intense nausea spreads through your body. Your clutch your hand over your mouth and look around frantically, spotting a bin. You run over and grab it, emptying the contents of your stomach into it. You splutter a few times and straighten up, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You look up and see everyone staring at you in shock.

“Something I ate?” You say, an acid taste stinging the back of your throat. “I’m gunna go to bed.”

“(y/n)?” You hear someone call after you, but you ignore them, feeling bile rising in your throat again. You stagger into your bedroom and only just make it into the bathroom, falling to your knees and throwing up again, this time in the toilet. You’d been feeling really bloated the past couple of days, maybe that’s what it was. Probably just food poisoning.

“Are you ok?” You hear Steve ask and you see him looming over you looking concerned. You struggle to your feet and nod, walking to the sink.

“You urr…need anything?” He asks as you start brushing your teeth, trying to rid the taste of puke from your mouth. “Like…lady things…?”

“Are you asking if I need tampons?” You say laughing when Steve shifts uncomfortably in your bathroom doorway. He nods, looking embarrassed, his hands on his hips.

“If you need them I can get them.” He says, looking determined.

“Captain America, going above and beyond the line of duty. Thanks Steve but that’s not what this is. I’m all stocked up for…” But you trail off, doing the math in your head. “Now that can’t be right…”

“What?”

“I need you to get me something?” You say suddenly, a figurative light bulb lighting above your head.

“Ok? What?” He asks, looking eager to help.

“Wait…you are the real Steve…right?”

“Yes!”

“How do I know…? Tell me something only the real Steve would know.” You say, narrowing your eyes at him. He thinks for a few seconds before replying.

“Your nickname for me, before Loki even arrived here, was Captain Ass-merica.”

“Ah yeah.” You burst out laughing, remembering this nickname fondly. “I need to bring that back.”

“What do you need?” Steve says, quickly changing the subject.

“A pregnancy test.”

“Ok a…wait what?!”

“Steve just…please. Don’t tell anyone. Literally go there and back.” You plead, feeling yourself close to throwing up again. He nods and dashes off, and as soon as he shuts your bedroom door you collapse next to the toilet again, throwing up again. You feel tears drip down your cheeks and splash onto the floor, but you make no effort to dry them, letting them fall freely.

When Steve returns half an hour later that’s where he finds you, sitting silently next to the toilet, dried tears on your cheeks.

“I got it.” He says, stroking your hair gently as he passes you the bag. You stand up and hug him gratefully.

“Thank you.” You whisper into his chest before moving back and pulling out the box. “Ok. Let’s do this.”

“I’m here for you no matter what.” Steve says, standing tall and impressive.

“Ok well that’s swell but could you not be here for me for like a sec so I can pee on a stick?” You ask, pulling a white test out of the box.

“Oh…yeah.” Steve stammers, backing out of the bathroom and shutting the door.

You take a deep breath and sit down, holding the stick under you between your legs. It takes a few seconds for a steady stream to start, the nerves apparently hindering your bladder function. Then, it’s done. You dry it off and open the bathroom door, walking out to sit next to Steve on your bed.

“And?” He asks, putting an arm around you and holding you tightly.

“Well unless I have unknown powers to make time speed up, I still need to wait three minutes.” You say, staring at the little white stick in your hand.

“It’s fine. It’ll be ok.” Steve whispers, rubbing little circles on your arm with his thumb. You both sit in silence for two minutes counted on Steve’s watch. When it gets to two and a half you panic.

“I can’t look.” You say, throwing it at Steve and jumping off the bed, pacing in front of him.

“You peed on this…” He says, a look of disgust on his face.

“Oh for fucks sake Rogers will you hold my pee stick for me this is important!” You cry and he reluctantly picks it up, holding it gingerly between the very tips of his fingers.

“And? What does it say?” You ask desperately, feeling close to tears. Steve looks at the test, then back up to you, a strange look on his face. “Steve what does it say?!” You cry, tears flowing steadily down your cheeks. He continues to stare blankly between you and the test before finally opening his mouth.

“I don’t know, you didn’t tell me the different between positive and negative on this thing.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy are you all gunna hate me for this one. Only two more parts after this folks! I’m sad to see it go, I love this fic. Hope you enjoy this very frustrating chapter. :D xox

“Are you fucking kidding me? How hard can it be?!” You mutter under your breath, grabbing the stick and examining it closely. “Wait…what the fuck does two dots mean?”

“Oh yeah how hard could it be.” Steve says, rolling his eyes.

“No this is good…this gives me time to actually think…” You say slowly, trying to convince yourself as much as Steve.

“Alright. Do you want to talk it out?”

“I don’t know.” You say slowly, your brow furrowed in concentration.

“So…whose is it?” Steve asks curiously.

“Buc…Piet…wait…” You say, thinking back. “I…I don’t know…”

“Well you wouldn’t have slept with Pietro since you left so it wouldn’t be him.” Steve says dismissively and you look at him guiltily, biting your lip.

“Oh you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t help it!” You cried and Steve stood up with a sigh.

“You really could have.”

“Hey. You don’t know what it’s like to be in love with someone and not see them for…” But you trail off, Steve’s eyebrow raised, realising what you were saying.

“Oh I don’t?”

“Ok my bad on that one.” You mutter, your cheeks flushing. “But he was already in my bed and-“

“Why was he in your bed?!” Steve cries in exasperation. 

“Now that’s a whole other story. The main thing is it could be Bucky’s. It could be Pietro’s. It could be Juan the pool boy’s. We just don’t know!”

“It worries me that I don’t know if you’re joking or not.”

“OH come on Roger’s give me some credit.”

“So do you think you’ll keep it?” Steve asks next, sitting on the chair opposite you, his hand squeezing your knee comfortingly.

“I don’t know…I’m not sure if I’m ready for kids…” You say, staring at the white stick in your hand. “I’ve always wanted kids…but is this the right place to raise one?”

“Only you can make that decision.”

“Wow. Deep.” You say sarcastically, Steve sighing.

“This is serious, you do realise that. You don’t seem to realise that.” At this, you burst into tears. “Oh shit I’m sorry!”

“No no.” You choke through your sobs. “Hormones I guess.”

“Oh…Well…is there anything I can do?” He asks. You hold out your arms in response and he pulls you onto his lap, hugging you close to his body. He rocks you gently, his t-shirt balled up in your fist, your tears making a wet patch on his chest.

“It’s all too much.” You whisper once your tears have slowed slightly.

“You can handle it.” Steve says, letting go of you so you can sit on the edge of the bed again.

“But what if I can’t?” You wail, fresh tears springing into your eyes.

“You can! You’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man!” He says with such conviction your tears stop and you just stare.

“Did you just say that?”

“Was I not…was I not supposed to? I saw it somewhere, I thought it was a thing?” Steve says, looking incredibly confused when you start laughing hard, clutching your stomach.

“Ah thanks Steve. You always know what to say.” You say once your laughing has stopped, wiping tears from your face. “Ugh, I just don’t really know what to do with it all really.”

“Can I just ask one last question?” Steve says gently. You nod and he continues, somewhat nervously. “Who’s do you want it to be?”

“Now that’s the tricky part.” You say with a sigh. “I used to love Pietro. Some of those feelings have lingered but I just don’t love him anymore. Bucky is just…he’s…he’s complicated. But I have feelings for him too. I just don’t know what feelings are stronger.”

“Maybe finding out the result will help.” Steve says, pointing at the stick still clutching tightly in your fist.

“Yeah we just need to work out what it bloody means first.” You say, examining it closely.

“Where did you put the box?”

“What box?”

“The one it came in, with the instructions in.”

“I don’t fucking know I didn’t exactly think I would need instructions on how to pee on a stick!” You cry, running into the bathroom desperately. “Help me look!”

“Ok ok calm down.” Steve says soothingly, walking into the bathroom behind you.

“CALM DOWN.” You shout, spinning around to face him, prodding him in the chest. “Don’t you DARE tell me to calm down Roger’s you’re not the one who potentially has something GROWING INSIDE OF THEM.”

“Sorry sorry let’s fine it.” Steve stammers, searching with you. After a nerve wracking couple of minutes Steve emerges from behind the toilet triumphant, brandishing a slip of paper.

“Is that…oh god.” You say, holding out your hand to grab the paper. Somehow though, you fumble. Steve lets go of it too quickly, you miss his hand, and the paper falls. You watch in shock as the paper swooshes down and lands directly in the toilet.

“I…” Steve says, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. An eerie calm settles over your body and you straighten, your mind blank.

“Alrighty then.” You say quietly, walking out of the bathroom.

“I can fish it out?” Steve cries desperately after you.

“No it’s fine. I don’t need to know.” You murmur quietly, feeling strange. “I will find out eventually.”

“Are you ok?” Steve asks, catching up with you and walking next to you as you leave your room and head towards the main area.

“I don’t feel…I don’t feel so good.” You say quietly, your whole world spinning. You don’t even realise you’ve fallen until Steve is carrying you.

“Hang on, let’s get you some help.” He mutters, jogging down a corridor towards what you can only assume is the damn infirmary again. You are slipping in and out of consciousness when you arrive, being suddenly crowded by people.

“We need to inject her now.” You hear someone say firmly.

“Wait? What?!” Steve shouts, looking panicked.

“If we don’t she will die. Put her on the bed.” Someone says in a stern voice. You are placed on a bed and watch as Steve is ushered towards the door.

“No! Wait!” You manage to gasp, reaching for Steve. The doctors reluctantly let him back in and he rushes forward, clutching your hand and stroking your hair.

“Penicillin.” Someone says from above you, but you keep your eyes fixed on Steve.

“I’m scared.”

“I know. It’ll be ok.”

“Ok let’s take her down.” Someone calls and your bed starts moving, Steve still holding your hand walking next to it. You walk through the main room and hear Steve call.

“Tony. Now.”

“Coming!” He cries and you turn your head slightly, watching him rushing forward, everyone else staring.

“YOU CAN’T” You hear Bucky cry but before he can do anything you’re through another set of doors, moving quickly.

You don’t realise you’ve blacked out until you wake up being manhandled into a machine. You try to struggle but your body doesn’t work, instead just letting them strap you in.

“It’s just like with me and I’m fine!” Steve whispers to you and the knot in your stomach lessens slightly when you know he is still with you. You are strapped in and are only just aware of the voices around you, your vision swimming.

“Steve?” You mutter as metal clamps on your arms, a sudden pain shooting into your body. “Steve!”

Then, the machine closes, and your world is filled with a bright, blinding light.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it’s the second to last part everyone, i’m getting pretty emotional that it’s ending! I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry there wasn’t one yesterday. I hope this will make up for it though :) Also, fun fact. This entire time, the word document on my computer with farith in was titled ‘I’VE GOT A BRAND NEW COMBINE ‘ARVESTER AND I’LL GIVE YOU THE KEY’. I was really into the whole Bucky farmer au thing. Anyway, I’m rambling. Enjoy! xox

You wake up in your own bed, a dull light burning your sensitive eyes from your bedside lamp, a strange metallic taste in your mouth. When you try and move your body feels strange, tense and different. When you stand you note the slight tenderness in your joints. You walk over to the mirror and your eyes widen at what you see. You’re taller, toned and just look all round incredible. You feel incredible too, like you could do anything.

“How long do you wanna keep checking yourself out for?” You hear a voice ask from behind you. You spin around and see that Steve was sitting on a chair next to your bed, reading silently. He’s looking at you with a faint smile on his face, clearly amused by what you were doing.

“It worked?” You ask as he stands.

“It worked.” He confirms, striding forward and pulling you into a huge hug. You feel yourself tearing up a little, overwhelmed at the enormity of what had happened.

“So…what now?” You ask, turning back to the mirror and examining yourself again.

“The doctors said they had to see you as soon as you woke up. Tests and stuff.” Steve says, handing you a pile of fresh clothes. “Meet you outside?”

“Sure, gimme a sec.” You say, and he nods, leaving the room. With a sigh you turn yourself sideways, looking at yourself in the mirror from that angle. You gently run your hand down your stomach, noticing no difference besides the fact is was way more toned than you’d last seen it. You still didn’t know if you were pregnant and it was still playing on your every thought. At this point you didn’t even know where the pregnancy test was, let alone if it was positive. You’d just have to go and get another. With this thought, you pull on your clothes and walk out of your room, smiling at Steve when you see him waiting.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” You say, forcing a smile onto your face. Frankly, you were terrified. What would Bucky say to you? Surely he would be grateful that the injection worked fine, but he seemed so angry about the entire thing in the first place. Then what about Pietro? Was he still mad at you? It was justified in all fairness, you had been completely shit to him. But whenever you saw him you couldn’t deny that little jump in your stomach. That small hint of what you had had before you left.

“(Y/N)!” You hear Nat cry, and you realise you’d made it to where the others were all grouped. She ran forward and stopped just in front of you, her eyes raking your body. “You look damn good.”

“Oh well I do try.” You say with a laugh, giving her a hug. Tony appears next, looking, well, smug.

“You’re welcome.” He says simply, handing you a tube of jelly beans.

“Oh yeah, without you this whole thing would never have happened. If you were not here Tony, the world would be in ruins.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Don’t remind me. It’s such a huge weight on my shoulders, I might just need a massage from you later sweetheart.” At this he winks and the others laugh, all of them coming up in turn to hug you.

“You look amazing. So much better.” Pietro says quietly when he walks up to you. He looks a bit hesitant giving you a hug, but when his arms wrap around yours all tension fades and he holds you tightly, much longer than any of the others.

“I’m sorry. For everything.” You whisper in his ear, and at this he pulls away. It pains you to see the sadness in his eyes and you know there is nothing else you can say. He just nods silently and walks away, sitting slightly apart from the group on the sofas. Finally, Bucky appears. His face is stony as he walks up to you, standing just close enough in front of you to make your heart jump slightly.

“Are you ok?” He asks in a gravelly voice.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Bucky I am completely fine. There is nothing wrong with me anymore. I’m fixed.” You say, moving your arm to place your hand on his gently, giving it a reassuring squeeze. At this he breaks slightly, his lip quivering as he moves forward to pull you into a hug. You hear Pietro make a slightly indignant noise from the sofas but you ignore it, too focused on Bucky.

“I was so worried.” He says gently, his hand brushing down your hair.

“(y/n), we need to go to see the doctors.” Steve pipes up as the hug lingers and the pair of you break away reluctantly.

“I’ll talk to you later, ok?” You say backing away from Bucky, only turning to follow Steve when he nods.

“What was all that?” Steve asks under his breath as you walk away.

“Let’s not go there.” You mutter, a feeling of panic settling in your stomach.

“Ah. (y/n).” One of the doctors says, looking up as you and Steve walk into the infirmary. “How are you feeling?”

“Swell.” You say, smiling widely and completely unconvincingly.

“Now, all of your results with the injection came back fine. You’re going to be ok. No more blackouts or funny moments like that-”

“Well that’s great!” You cry, turning happily to Steve.

“However.” The doctor cuts in. “We are slightly concerned about the baby.”

“You what now?” You say, your head snapping back to face the doctor, Steve making a slight choking noise beside you.

“You should have told us, we could have made other precautions with the exposure of rays.”

“I…pregnant…” You murmur, unsure of what else to say.

“You…you did know?” The doctor asks, looking confused.

“She was in the process of doing the test when she blacked out.” Steve explains, rubbing your arm comfortingly. “She didn’t know if it was positive or negative before the injections.”

“Ah…I see.” The doctor says, now seeming awkward. “Well I was hoping to discuss it with you because of the father…”

“YOU KNOW?!” You cry, the words dragging you out of your trance like state.

“Well…yes we did all manner of tests while you were unconscious. The DNA of the baby was something we looked at and it’s-”

“Wait.” You say, holding up your hand to stop him.

“Don’t you want to know?” Steve asks, his eyes wide.

“Yes…No…Well…”

“How about I write it down.” The doctor suggests, grabbing a scrap of paper and scribbling a single word on it. He folds it and hands it to you, your fingers struggling to grasp it. “When you read it though, come back and talk to me.”

“Ok…” You reply faintly, letting Steve walk you out of the room.

“(y/n)?” Steve says quietly as you walk back automatically to the main area, your eyes fixed on the piece of paper in your hand. You don’t reply and Steve gets the hint, remaining in silence for the rest of the walk.

“Where is everybody?” You finally ask when you notice the room has cleared in you absence.

“It’s pretty late, they’re probably in bed. They were waiting up for you to wake up.” Steve explains. “Do you want me to…?”

“No, you go. I need some time to think.” You say, slumping down onto one of the sofas. Steve nods and leaves. You hear his bedroom door shut then there is only silence. This simple piece of paper in your hand was so daunting, so terrifying, part of you wanted to just rip it up and be done with it. But you knew you had to look. So, with trembling fingers, you unfold the paper and read the word written in the untidy scrawl.

Once you have processed this new piece of life changing information, you stand and stride towards the corridor of bedrooms. Then, you stop. On one side was Bucky’s room. On the other, Pietro’s. You take one last look at the piece of paper, the decision in your mind now made. You take a deep breath and knock on a door.

“Come in.” They call and you force yourself to push the door open.

“Hi. We need to talk.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are. The final part. This is been such a great fic to write, I’ve loved it and I am so glad you all enjoyed it so much too. I had this part written last night and I was going to hang onto it for a little while longer, but given how many messages I got along the lines of “HOW DARE YOU I AM CRYING AT THE CLIFFHANGER THE FEELS” I figured you deserved it now. I hope you like the final part of farith! :) xox

“Are you alright?” He asks, standing and walking over to you, his hand resting gently on your arm. “You’re shaking, what’s wrong?”

“Now don’t freak out ok? When I tell you…”

“You’re scaring me (y/n).” He says. “Is it the serum? Has it gone wrong?”

“No no. It’s not the serum.”

“Then what?” He asks. Silently, you hand him the piece of paper. He unfolds it and reads, looking up at you confused. “Why is my name written on a piece of paper?”

“Run away with me.” You say quickly, ignoring his question.

“What? What has gotten into you?” You can’t help but laugh at his wording. “Why are you laughing?”

“I’m pregnant.” You say simply.

“And…it’s mine?”

“That’s what the doctor wrote down.” You say, gesturing at the piece of paper. He stares at you wordlessly for a few seconds.

“Are you ok?”

“This is…this is amazing!” He cries, surging forwards and pulling you into a hug. “That is…if you’re happy with it? I don’t want you to do anything you’re not happy with.”

“I am now. I needed to see your reaction.” You say, a smile blooming on your face.

“We’re going to be a family. I love you so much.”

“I love you too Bucky.” You say, grabbing his face and kissing him enthusiastically, his arms pulling you closer.

“Wait.” He says, pulling away and looking deeply into your eyes. “Did you say run away with me?”

“Bucky this is hardly a good place to raise a baby.” You say with a sigh. “Plus I don’t think I can face Pietro. I want to get out of here. I want to live a normal life and raise my…our baby in as normal a family as possible.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, looking hesitant. It was strange how things had flipped. How before Bucky was the one asking you to run away with him and now it was you. How he was now being the sensible one. How before he had asked you to…

“Bucky. Ask me the question.” You say quickly.

“What question?” He asks, looking confused.

“THE question Bucky.”

“Oh. OH!” He says, wiping his hands nervously on his jeans. “(y/n)…”

“Yes.” You say, smiling as Bucky dramatically drops down to one knee. He pauses, searching around for something. “Buck what are you doing?”

“Hang on.” He jumps up and runs to his desk, pulling open a drawer and grabbing a small box.

“You bought one?!” You gasp as Bucky drops down to one knee again. He grins at you, opening the box and revealing a beautiful ring.

“(y/n). Will you marry me?” He asks and you can see his hands shaking holding the box.

“Yes.” You say without hesitating. “Yes I will marry you.” At this Bucky jumps up and grabs you round the waist, picking you up and swinging you around enthusiastically.

“Oh I never thought it would pan out like this…” Bucky says once he has put you down. He grabs the ring out of the box and slips it onto your finger.

“Me either. Not in the slightest. This would never have happened if you hadn’t seduced me in that barn.” You say, laughing and holding out your hand to admire your ring.

“Were you serious about running away?” Bucky asks suddenly, his hands clutching yours.

“Yes, completely.”

“Let’s go then.” He says, letting go of your hands and reaching under his bed, pulling out a bag.

“What…right now?” You say, shocked.

“Everyone is in bed, it’s the perfect time. It’s better now than leaving it.” Bucks says quickly while shoving clothes in his bags.

“Yes…yes that makes sense.” You say firmly, nodding.

“Go pack a bag and I’ll meet you in your room when I’m done, ok?” Bucky says, walking over to you and pecking you on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, see you in a sec.” You say, smiling and jogging out of the room. As you sprint down the corridor into the main room, you thud into something solid.

“(y/n)?” You hear Steve ask through the darkness. As your eyes adjust you see him standing in front of you, smiling.

“Oh, hey Steve.” You say, continuing to run past him. Unfortunately, he follows.

“What are you doing?” He asks from the doorway of your room, watching as you grab a bag from your closet and stuff clothes into it.

“Running away.” You say simply, whizzing around your room grabbing everything you think you’ll need.

“Run…why?!”

“I can’t raise a baby here Steve. I’m leaving with Bucky, we are going to get married and live a normal life.” You say quickly, started to grab the photos off your wall. You linger over the one of Pietro, moving past it and leaving it stuck to the wall.

“Are you sure about this?” Steve asks, sounding concerned.

“Completely.” You reply, zipping up your bag and swinging it over your shoulder just as Bucky walks through the door.

“You ready?” He asks, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” You say, giving Steve a quick hug before you leave.

“Keep in touch!” He calls after you as you and Bucky run down the corridor, and you feels tears in your eyes.

You and Bucky run in silence, after a while his hand reaching out and taking yours. You run together out of the building and into the outside world. You keep going for a little while until the building is out of sight, leaving you in the middle of the city.

“What now?” You ask, looking at Bucky illuminated by a street lamp.

“I have an apartment I always kept as an emergency.” Bucky says, shrugging. “We could go there for now until we think of something else?”

“Sounds perfect.” You say, smiling and letting him lead you in the right direction.

When you make it to the apartment you are cold and tired, the adrenaline that had been coursing through your body at first now wearing off. You drag your feet up the steps and follow Bucky through the door into the basic apartment. 

“Bedrooms this way.” Bucky says, leading you towards a door. You drop your bag on the floor and sigh at the relief of not having the weight on your back anymore. When you make it into the bedroom, Bucky turns to you, pressing his lips gently against yours. He helps you undress slowly, your limbs sore and aching.

“Thank you.” You whisper, slipping under the covers and watching as Bucky removes his clothes too, getting in next to you. You curl up into his arms, the enormity of what you had done hitting you, a strange feeling in your stomach.

“Love you.” Bucky mutters but you’re too tired to reply, and you feel yourself slipping into a restless sleep.

–

The next morning you wake to the sound of your phone ringing. You slip out of bed, grumbling, and pad over to your bag, pulling it out and answering.

“Hello?” You say groggily, blinking to let your eyes adjust to the light.

“(y/n)?” You hear Steve’s voice through the phone, sounding panicked.

“Yeah? Are you ok?”

“You need to come back right now.” Steve says urgently. Bucky has woken up by this point and is looking at you from the bed, confused.

“Why?”

“They saw you leave. The doctors are mad. Oh so mad. Everyone is mad. You need to come back.”

“Steve. Use your words.” You say, shrugging at Bucky. “Explain. Why do I need to come back?”

“The serum, mixed with your DNA and Bucky’s combined in the baby.”

“Right?” You say, still confused by what Steve is trying to say. You hear him take a deep breath and-

“If you don’t come back the baby is going to die.”


	21. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok folks. Here it is. So you were probably all expecting the next part of FARITH so I apologise but this answers nothing haha. I know Bucky won the poll so the official ending is with him. However I got so many people asking for Pietro and so many people voted for him anyway I figured you deserved to know vaguely how it would have gone with him. So I hope you’re not too disappointed, and I hope you enjoy! :) xox

“What do you want?” He asks, standing and walking over to you.

“We need to talk.” You say, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m not sure I have anything to say to you.” He says, crossing his arms uneasily.

“Look I am sorry about everything but you need to listen to me on this one.”

“(y/n) unless you’re here to tell me that you’ve decided to pick me I suggest you leave.” He says, walking back to his bed.

“I’m pregnant.” You blurt out.

“You what?!” Pietro gasps, turning around to stare at you.

“That time you stayed in my room…I don’t know what to do.” You mutter, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Hey hey hey.” Pietro says, dashing forward and wiping the tears gently from your face. “It will be ok.”

“How do you know?” You cry, letting Pietro walk you over and sit you onto the bed. “I don’t know if I’m ready for a baby.”

“Look, it is going to be ok because I will be here for you. Through everything. I promise.” He says, his arms tight around you, your head resting on his chest.

“But I’ve been so horrible to you.” You murmur, Pietro’s hand stroking your hair gently.

“Well…yes.” Pietro says, only making you cry more. “No no it’s ok!” 

“It’s not ok!” You say, jumping up and pacing. “I was stupid and I shouldn’t have started anything with Bucky. I mean the whole thing in the barn I wasn’t myself obviously and I thought hey why not I won’t see him ever again but then it continued. I let myself get all worked up about him and convinced myself that I didn’t have any feelings for you, but that was a lie. Because all this time I love you and I used to love you. I always loved you I guess I had just forgotten it. When all those memories of you and me came back I tried to run from it, it was just all so overwhelming because we were pretty serious and I was scared!”

“(y/n)-”

“And then I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t know whose it was and I wanted it to be yours so bad. I was terrified to look at it and then I did and it was yours and I was so relieved.”

“(Y/N)!” Pietro cries, standing up and grabbing you, stopping your pacing.

“What?”

“Stop rambling and calm down.” Pietro says soothingly, pulling you close to him.

“I just want to explain and say sorry and make you realise how I feel about you.”

“I know how you feel about me, it’s ok.”

“You do?”

“Yes and I feel the same obviously.” He says simply.

“Oh thank fuck.” You say. You pull away from him just enough to push your lips against his, him greeting you with enthusiasm. The pair of you fall onto Pietro’s bed, you on top of him. You both manage to shuffle yourselves so you’re comfortably in the bed, dramatically ripping off each other’s clothes.

It doesn’t take long before you’re both naked under the covers, your hands exploring each other’s bodies like it was the first time. His lips press against your neck and you melt under his touch, he always knew exactly what drove you crazy.

—

The next morning you woke, Pietro’s body pressed tight against yours, his arms around you. You smiled and leant into his touch. Everything was peaceful and you could almost imagine you and Pietro were living a normal life, in a little house just outside the city with a garden for the baby. That is, until there was a banging at the door.

“(Y/N)! Are you in there?!” Steve shouts, pounding on the door. You slide out of bed, Pietro grumbling next to you.

“What do you want Steve?” You ask, pulling the door open. He just grabs your hand and tries to pull you out of the room but you resist, standing firm “What’s going on?”

“The doctors need to see you.” He says breathlessly as if he had been running.

“Ok jeesh you just had to say so. Coming Pietro?” You call behind you, finding Pietro already up and ready.

“Let’s go.” He says and the three of you make you way down to the infirmary, Steve hurrying you constantly.

“Steve is something wrong?” You ask, frowning at his face of concern.

“Just…go in.” He says, gesturing at the door. You and Pietro walk in, the people in the room looking up in silence.

“Ah…so you read my note.” Your doctor says, his eyes on Pietro. “We need to talk about the baby.”

“Is it too late to terminate the pregnancy?” You hear Pietro ask from behind you, and it takes you a second to process what he said.

“Terminate?”

“Well you weren’t thinking of keeping it were you?” Pietro says, looking confused.

“Urmm yes?” You say, feeling your cheeks burning.

“But…why? I hardly think we are ready for kids. I mean, we are only just back together after the whole memory wipe thing. I think we should wait a while.”

“Well it’s not like it’s only my bloody fault I’m pregnant.” You say angrily.

“Well if you’d have thought to use protection in the first place-” Pietro starts but you cut him off.

“IF I HAD THOUGHT. I’M SORRY BUT LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU WERE THE ONE WITH THE BELOW AVERAGE PENIS PIETRO.” You shout, anger coursing through your body.

“Look. I don’t want any kids ok. I’ve never wanted kids.”

“Well it’s hardly your decision.” You say firmly.

“It’s my baby.”

“Yeah, one that you don’t want anything to do with! It’s my body Pietro.”

“I can’t do this right now.” He mutters, shaking his head and looking furious. “Come and see me when the doctor has talked you into a bit of sense.”

“Fine. Leave. See if I fucking care.” You cry after him, tears beginning to roll down your face as he leaves and slams the door behind him.

“I’m sorry.” The doctor says. “But we need to talk about the baby.”

“Not now.” You say, standing up and sprinting out of the room, past Steve and down the corridor. You pick up speed, zooming into parts of the building you didn’t even know. You find an empty room and curl up in the corner, sobbing. Then, your phone rings.

“Hello?” You say quietly, answering only because you see Steve’s name flashing on the screen.

“WHERE ARE YOU. NEED BACK. NOW.”

“Steve. Use your words.” You say, wiping tears from your face. “Explain. Why do I need to come back?”

“The serum, mixed with your DNA and Pietro’s combined in the baby.”

“Right?” You say, still confused by what Steve is trying to say. You hear him take a deep breath and-

“If you don’t come back the baby is going to die.”


End file.
